The @David-Tracy roast is up, although it's missing a few submissions: https://jalopnik.com/david-tracy-has-been-towed-find-him-at-your-local-pick-1848551072
I gotta say, my car (the Dreaded Laramie) appreciates PG's image that didn't make the cut, hahahaha:
Is this the real reason I call my project hoopties "my garbage sons?" IDK.
So, since this is
Sparta Oppo and DT remembers to post more than I do nowadays, I figured we should have our own roast thread that's out of reach from a certain herb. Vaya con rustos, and all that jazz.
My whole roast didn't make the cut, either, so here ya go:
Someday I aspire to have a more hopeless car collection than yours. I know, I know, some (hopefully?) run, but as someone with a tendency to scatter bad cars throughout central Texas, the only thing keeping me somewhat responsible is the price of land. I've even threatened to leave a car (and/or cars) on another continent as well, but no! I have to turn down every "Type 4 parts car $250," "old volkswangen," "parsh cayenrero $900," "vw squareback" (but the ad shows a 412), "trabant DOES NOT RUN PARTS ONLy" ad that I get sent due to the sheer lack of space.
You always go for the gold, though, which is a quality I envy. We should all aspire to have less self-control. If everybody gave in to every mildly tempting ad, we'd have less restrictive city codes, and more in-yard Kia muddin' sessions. The world would be an objectively better place.
Maybe I can get away with street-parking something ugly but functional, but that's a big ask. I've gotten the nastygram about a non-running 944 before and that sucked. People keep sending me ads, though, which is frustrating, as I'm sure you well know. This is why I'm never the one sending you another old Jeep ad: I can hardly bear to look at Marketplace anymore. Readers have killed much of the joy of looking at ads by the sheer volume of ads they send us, and I don't even have a dishwasher for parts here.
This is all to say...can I stash a car or five in your yard? Surely weird foreign stuff is a lot cheaper up by Detroit. Wait, is it easier to find Cateras there? Want to go halvsies on a Puch G?