Aspiring Zündapp Janus owner.
I haven't been on very much lately, but there's a very good reason why I've been busy as heck: I finally got a full-time job! Starting Monday, I'll be the new Social Media Editor for Brookline Media's Autos sites, The Drive and the soon-to-relaunch Car Bibles.
I'll still be blogging about cars with more opportunities to do longer stuff, fun tangents and passion projects on top of being Extremely Online.
Please troll me, but in a polite and enjoyable way. See you in the comment section!
The @David-Tracy roast is up, although it's missing a few submissions: https://jalopnik.com/david-tracy-has-been-towed-find-him-at-your-local-pick-1848551072
I gotta say, my car (the Dreaded Laramie) appreciates PG's image that didn't make the cut, hahahaha:
Is this the real reason I call my project hoopties "my garbage sons?" IDK.
So, since this is Sparta Oppo and DT remembers to post more than I do nowadays, I figured we should have our own roast thread that's out of reach from a certain herb. Vaya con rustos, and all that jazz.
My whole roast didn't make the cut, either, so here ya go:
Someday I aspire to have a more hopeless car collection than yours. I know, I know, some (hopefully?) run, but as someone with a tendency to scatter bad cars throughout central Texas, the only thing keeping me somewhat responsible is the price of land. I've even threatened to leave a car (and/or cars) on another continent as well, but no! I have to turn down every "Type 4 parts car $250," "old volkswangen," "parsh cayenrero $900," "vw squareback" (but the ad shows a 412), "trabant DOES NOT RUN PARTS ONLy" ad that I get sent due to the sheer lack of space.
You always go for the gold, though, which is a quality I envy. We should all aspire to have less self-control. If everybody gave in to every mildly tempting ad, we'd have less restrictive city codes, and more in-yard Kia muddin' sessions. The world would be an objectively better place.
Maybe I can get away with street-parking something ugly but functional, but that's a big ask. I've gotten the nastygram about a non-running 944 before and that sucked. People keep sending me ads, though, which is frustrating, as I'm sure you well know. This is why I'm never the one sending you another old Jeep ad: I can hardly bear to look at Marketplace anymore. Readers have killed much of the joy of looking at ads by the sheer volume of ads they send us, and I don't even have a dishwasher for parts here.
This is all to say...can I stash a car or five in your yard? Surely weird foreign stuff is a lot cheaper up by Detroit. Wait, is it easier to find Cateras there? Want to go halvsies on a Puch G?
SCANDALOUS! Or not. Just the second highest pass in the Alps from this summer.
So, Gambler 500-ing the Volkswagen 411 was a huge success. There were folks there who knew carbs and aircooleds who helped us get it running at altitude...mostly. It still runs hot and rich. So rich. So, so, so rich. Holy crap. It's better than lean because lean burns up engines, BUT it's not great.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CO_2cO2lGcx/
Rally Chicken and Florida Puff rode along the whole time, though, as Puffalumps do. We even took it down Old Ore Road, which is a Jeep trail down the middle of Big Bend, and super fun. Only problem is, it kept stalling out because of sooty fouled plugs. They'd get covered in soot from the rich-running engine and quit working.
Which it did about halfway down the trail.
Eventually, we determined that if we just kept the revs up, it wouldn't stall. We couldn't stop, either, but hey! SPEED RUN. It only stalled out a few more times over big bumps when everything got knocked around. All the important bits made it, though, so ABG.
Then I remembered that someone on here made this meme when I was testing out a Mazda, and it all makes sense.
I don't remember who made this, but you jinxed me. My VW woes are all your fault.
(It was from this piece—and I still don't like the title it was given—but since the herb nuked the photos for non-logged-in users..........here you go. Enjoy.)
SO MUCH PUFF.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CTtLtx0MiTr/
Friend who stores parsh got a lift. It's slower since it's on a regular wall outlet right now, but we're okay with that as Lift Newbs.
Also, hi! Busy as heck. Long time, no parshpost.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CWOE4zWlNcT/
That's someone else's parsh, but my parsh is still broken. I wanna race my parsh again. There were a bajillion other 944s at Lemons this year, and none of them were mine.
2022 has to be Year of the Parsh.
HELLO, FELLOW AIRCOOLED OWNERS.
This was the first Lemons car I ever raced. Guess who did the theme?
I have been informed that this old shot from the first Radwood here may be the most Stef picture of all time. You know I had to bring the 'lumps.
Also, small life update: I'm back to writing full-time on The Drive now as of a couple weeks ago, so send me your...sends. Or builds. Or tips. You know the drill. (stef [at] thedrive [dot] com)
They're soft. 
(Especially Floyd the pig and all of the other Puffalumps. That's it. They're all soft.)
@Just-Jeepin Still fun to watch, then! Heh.
@Highlander said in Hopposite Lock:
@Stef-Schrader This is what comes to mind when I think of rocket bunny tho.
It's cute, but it could use more Puffalumps.
@Just-Jeepin YES GAMBLE GAMBLE GAMBLE
Seriously, if all else fails, you can take the Jeep to run "sirch and rascue" and tag along, or find a hooptie with space to ride with. It's a pretty welcoming group as long as you're down to send it and party. You gotta do it. GOTTA.
(I live at the opposite end of the country from the event in the OP, and sadly cannot go. I think I'd have better luck waiting for one of the yurop trips to align, haha.)
Southwest, not even a question. I liked them before The Oopsening, though, so I'm hoping they're getting their act back together.
@Highlander said in Hopposite Lock:
@Stef-Schrader But does it jump?
Yes. Well, it did. It's sadly long gone. 
@ash78 said in Hopposite Lock:
Obvious @Taylor-Martin bait!
My dad sold his Squareback around 1988. I remember thinking $900 cash was the most money I had ever seen in my life.
Now I'm like "Why did we sell it?!"
Why DID you sell it? Haha.
@davesaddiction said in Hopposite Lock:
This photo makes me hoppy.
But where is the
?
I have ducks (plural, many) at home.
Rally Chicken is not one of them.
