Back in '04 or so, I was into RC rock crawling in a big way. Back then you had to make your own stuff, and modify things you bought to make them work better. This includes tires. Available tires (with a few exceptions) were too stiff and nowhere near grippy enough. So I learned the fine art of siping.

Siping is accomplished with a Dremel tool cutoff wheel, and involves cutting fine grooves in the tread lugs.

This creates a lot of dust and smoke. The smoke goes away. The dust sticks to ya, because it's melted rubber. Hand cleaner won't touch it, soap is a joke, shampoo, and other household cleaners were similarly ineffective.

Lacquer thinner does a hell of a job on it, though. Dries the skin something fierce.

While I was doing this job, I was wearing shorts, and boxers, and holding the tire between my knees. Seemed the most comfortable way to get things done. Didn't think about the rubber dust on my hands or legs, because I knew the thinner would take it off.

After the third tire was done, I had to take a leak.

Uh oh. Seems that rubber dust gets... everywhere. The old twig & berries had a liberal coating of the stuff.

Only one thing gets it off, remember?

Well, what's the worst that could happen? Thinner doesn't hurt when I use it on my hands, right? I went to work on it.

Jesus H. Tap-dancing Christ, that hurts! I mean, I'm on fire down there, and it doesn't stop hurting, either. We're talking major, tear-inducing, screaming pain. It went on for hours. The worst part was knowing I had to finish the job after the pain started (the job was finished).

I suppose a moisturizing lotion would have ameliorated it some, but at that point I wasn't thinking real clearly, and I probably didn't have any anyway.

No, I didn't even start on the fourth tire.

TL;DR version: Don't clean your cock with lacquer thinner.

I've been waiting 40 years for an answer to my knee problem, so I wasn't going to let a little bit of winter get in the way. Woke up to six inches of heavy snow over slush; the snowblower couldn't handle it, but each shovelful only weighs 40 pounds, so let's put those Blizzaks to the test (actually they've been tested many times and they fucking rule).

By the time I left, the snow had piled up to 8 inches.

Got high-centered a couple times backing out of the driveway and had to shovel. The neighborhood roads weren't much better, but the main roads had been plowed and salted a couple hours before, so it was just winter driving. Made it to my appointment on time.

When I got back, I could only make it halfway up the driveway, but it's off the street.

Lots of confused CUV drivers encountered. They couldn't figure out why I was passing them. Only saw two cars upside down in the ditch.

Daddy's boi!

Thanks for using Leviathan as the lead image. My grandfather served on her. Later went on to work in land-based steam transportation, and was part of the development team for the UP Big Boys.

Also, an OG Jalop:

We all know sealed beams suck. 35W of brown/yellow light was bad even in 1988, and it's no better today. But we have alternatives.
The 1988 Crown Victoria came with Wagner sealed-beam halogens. By the time I got it, only one was left; the rest had been replaced. Now if you buy a modern sealed-beam halogen, they're not fully silvered. The bottom panel of the reflector is clear. This is "to reduce glare" but what it does is let your rusty headlight bucket show, and the bulb looks like it's burned out. Homey don't play that.
First step was to replace all the lights with a kit from a GM G-body site which I won't mention because it turned out to be crap, but it set me on the right path. Here's one problem:

Three of the lamps were letting water in. These are Neolites, made in India where I guess it doesn't rain much. Those were replaced with Hellas, which I wanted all along but was too cheap to buy initially. When I stumbled onto an open-box deal from Amazon, I jumped on it.
Note that when you upgrade to H4/H1 halogens, you need to change the headlight plugs, because they don't connect the same as sealed beams. Same plugs, different pinout. The kit resolved this, and also added relays for the lights, so my 32-year-old wiring that was barely adequate for 35W lights can survive with 55/100W lights. With relays the original wiring only carries enough current to trip the relay, milliamps instead of amps. That's good. Had to solder all the connections in the harness, as a couple of the Chinese crimps failed.
Next up was changing the rest of the bulbs to LEDs, with two-color switchbacks up front. So white running lights and amber turn signals.

Tell me that ain't some hotness.
To do this, I needed 1991 turn signals and sidemarkers. Clear lenses for one year only, but there are some out there. Resistors were needed between the T/S and ground so the original blinker works.

They're heat-sinked to the steel header panel support.
This raised another issue:

The stock setup only blinks the inner half of the light. Which isn't a big deal, as the stock setup uses amber bulbs for the running lights. But it looks goofy like this. So I changed the 194 running light for another 3157 switchback so they both blink, as in the lead image.
HA! Problem with that, too. Now the resistors were wrong, but only when the running lights were on. How you gonna deal with THAT? Did I mention relays? You can use a 5-pin relay to switch between 6-ohm and 10-ohm resistors. The relay is powered up by the running lights and kicks over to the 10-ohm resistor, and the blink rate is restored. Clever boy, pat me on the head.
Well, now I got brown (although bright) headlights and bluish-white running lights:

Which is okay, but triggers my OCD. Time for blue bulbs.

Philips DiamondVision H4 and no-name Chinese 100W H1. I can go with high wattage because of the relays.

Now they match. Bueno. The blue bulbs give off a much more daylight-ey light. I dig 'em.
The Hellas throw a nice beam pattern with a sharp cutoff.
Inside, I made the LED upgrade, too:

This required changing the lens in the dome light. The OE lens is white plastic and absorbs most of the light, even with two LED modules. So I cut up a plastic headlight:

Heat, bend, trim... is good.
Underhood and trunk bulbs got replaced with LED panels, bright enough for neurosurgery:

I still need to do the taillights and instrument lights. Taillights are pretty tight for resistor mounting because of the carpet covers, and the instrument lights are gonna be a genuine pain in the ass.
So that's what it takes to update your lighting by 32 years. Worth it? Yes. Worth reading about? Comments welcome. Don't spare my feelings, I don't have any.

God damn it, I knew I should have checked that.

Elwood and Jake in a rare moment of repose.

Ur shoes is safe, I guards dem!

Context: 20 years ago these things were literally free. I bought many for $200 or less, and got at least two for just hauling (or driving) them away. So cutting them up wasn't a sin.

Autocross special. The hood scoop was functional, as this car had a Fiat 1500 short-block, which made the engine tall enough to hit the hood. The pre-1988 1100 head bolted on, which raised compression and I gave it a hot cam from Faza. It would rev to 8,000 with the stock valvesprings, which in hindsight probably wasn't wise, but it did it, a lot. 1100 flywheel and Kevlar-faced clutch transmitted power to a welded diff. Wheels were 13x7, ancient ET mags. 185-50-13s if I recall correctly. Up front, coils were cut and the rear was lowered by putting a massive screw thru the floor to press down the center of the transverse leaf spring. It was good enough for runner-up in D Mod that year. Never could catch the guy with the Caterham.

The previous autocross weapon ended up on its roof. The next week I started building this one, and the first time I ran it, I had all the stickers on upside down.

Number 138 refers to the Fiat code for the 1500 engine (pulled from a rusty low-miles Strada).

This was a rare GVL, which was just a GV with somewhat nicer seats and integrated backup lights. Came to me with a blown engine (timing belt) and I put a high-milage spare in there. Had virtually no compression, but it ran and ran. Would start in 0-degree weather because no compression. Wheels are Lancia.

The pickup conversion was completed in one day, and looks it. But it worked, handy for hauling tires if you didn't need to haul too many.

This was my Cabrio. One of 75, 85 or 82 built, depending on who you ask. It had 18,000 miles when I got it, and not many more when I unloaded it. These were all 1990 models, but didn't have EFI. They started out as 1988 GVX'es, got shipped to American Sunroof in Michigan, languished during the bankruptcy and were ready for 1990. MSRP was 10 grand, if you can believe that.

HORRIBLE cowl shake, even on a smooth road. The carbureted 1300 gave a whopping 55 HP, up from the 1100's 45 . Woo hoo!

A yellow one just like this appears in The Birdcage, parked on the street.

Grille was originally silver, which didn't look good with the yellow so I changed it for a black one.

Pretty clean underhood. The red air cleaner top denotes the "hot" 1300 engine. All Yugos had the red timing cover.

Hey, remember that Strada that gave up its engine? Yeah, the hood fits perfectly over the back-seat area. Those are the same ET mags that went on the race car. This one came to me for $50 with a rod knock and busted clutch cable, and I drove it home, then cut it up. Back then paint was a lot cheaper than it is now, so I could afford to spray it.

Had a customer with a 750i who wanted his cracked grille replaced. This is my original Yugo, purchased new ($3990) and after paint and a few roundels I got a lot of compliments on it. People saw the roundels and missed the underlying Yugo. Really, that happened. You can see it wore a GVX bumper cover, later it inherited a 1300/5-speed combination. With its original engine I may have traveled
200 miles in 2 hours. OK, I did. The statute of limitations is up by now, surely.

1991 model, with EFI. Nothing real special about it but I took a pic anyway, and when's the last time you saw one?

Finally, my hot-rod GV Plus. Full GVX body kit, 1300 with EFI, actual Borbet wheels (13x7), 2" exhaust, roof rack and rear-window louver. Homemade cold-air intake, and I added air conditioning using the factory kit, which did a fantastic job of chilling my right knee. This one came to me as a wreck, needing fenders and front struts. Even in this terrible pic you can see the paint doesn't match. It had 9,000 miles on it when I got it. I added many more.

If you look close, you can see the red stripes on the passenger seat. Those came from a GVX.

Bosch EFI had a hard rev limiter at 6,000. Completely cut the fuel flow just as things were getting interesting.

In total, I owned, drove, cut up and parted out 25 of the stupid things. That's probably a record.

I learned this from my mama, who's full-blooded Sicilian. Since she didn't raise no dummies, I took a few short cuts. Here's how we make-a da lasagna here at the Fortress of Cool.

First shortcut is using a disposable pan. Nobody wanna spend the holidays cleaning a pan. Put it on a cookie sheet for support.

Bend up the edges so they're square, then lube the bottom with olive oil.

Have a drink, that was hard work. fuck it, it's five o'clock somewhere.

Assemble the ingredients. 2 pounds ground beef / meatloaf mix, a pound of Italian sausage, however much riccotta is in that big-ass tub, sauce of preference, 2 eggs, 2 pounds of mozzarella, provolone slices, parmasean cheese, some prosciutto.

Brown-a da meat.

Beat the eggs into the ricotta. Taste-test, or delegate that to a volunteer.

Noodles, half the ricotta, sausage, sauce....

More noodles, provolone...

Continued in next post...

@akioohtori And early 2000s cars will have a whole lot more of 'em. Happy hunting, y'all!

I should add that if you don't have the exact capacitor you need, you can add them in parallel. Two 4.7s or three 3.3s will do the same job as a 10.

@e90m3 said in Old cars, old capacitors and new problems:

I make capacitors, so I've got a few lying around.

Send me some, I've almost used up my stash!

Chances are, if you're running an old car you're gonna have some buggy electronics at some point. Well, not if you car's really old, but medium-old like my 1988 LTD Crown Vic.

30 years is about when capacitors start to decide they've had enough and retire from active service, and that causes annoying, buggy behavior, like this:

That little ring around the lock is... half illuminated, when it's supposed to be dark. This is caused by, you guessed it, a bad capacitor, this time in the illuminated-entry module.

It's the little black box there above the ground bus. You'll need a factory service manual to find it, because Ford hides these things all over the place. In a Fox Mustang it's under the rear parcel shelf.

Its job is to light up the lock rings and interior lights for 25 seconds when you lift the handle with the door locked. This is so you can find the keyhole in the dark, or just look inside to see if there's anything worth stealing in the car.

The module itself opens from the end, and the circuit board slides out:

The capacitor in question is the little yellow can on the RH side. Mark which side is negative (stripe on the can) and replace it. Easy job if you're solder-savvy, 5 minutes at most. The orange discs are also capacitors, but those don't go bad.

In this case it's a 10uF 25V capacitor. You can replace with higher voltage without affecting performance. If you're like me (1) God help ya and (2) you've probably got capacitors laying around.

Inspect the contacts on the relay and clean/polish if needed.

Test and reinstall, in that order. In my case, the capacitor did the job.

Now everything lights up for 25 seconds and then goes back to sleep, as it should. RESULT!

There are other capacitors, and they'll be just as bad.

There's one now, in the EFI control module. GET IT, before it bites ya!

Just dealing with minor niggles at this point. I found a slow leak in the Love Boat's air conditioner (bad service valve) but it's too cold to recharge so that waits til spring. The most recent tragedy:

My illuminated entry module failed, leaving the door lock LEDs permanently half-lit. So that's disconnected, and I have to open the door to turn on the dome light, like some kind of animal.

Got tired of trying to de-ice the wipers so I stuffed some pipe insulation behind the hood:

Remove before flight.

Rear rotors on the Challenger are rotted from sitting so much, and it's gonna want tires when the Blizzaks come off.

Both start just fine when it's 5 degrees outside, synthetic oil FTW.

Come to Cleveland, we've got lots of empties you can move into today!

Just... be prepared for a little fixin'.

Jake & Elwood on the tech support desk.

Also, I have to admire Elwood's near-perfect symmetry in his markings.

Remember when a water pump was driven by a belt, lasted 15 years and cost 30 bucks?

If you wanna corner the market, the automatic temp control panel for '79-91 Crown Vic and Mercury Grand Marquis has been unavailable for about 20 years. You'd sell TENS of them!

Thanks for using Leviathan as the lead image. My grandfather served on her. Later went on to work in land-based steam transportation, and was part of the development team for the UP Big Boys.

Also, an OG Jalop:

My new ride arrived today,
Safely home I’m glad to say,
Thirty miles I drove in second gear.
Though it’s going to need repair,
Ventually I will get there,
And when it’s done I’ll have nothing to fear.

There’s a fearsome fuel leak,
Of petrol I do reek,
It’s douching down the driveway in a gush.
And so it all drains out,
To a bucket through a spout,
My first repair done in an urgent rush.

Needs four tires and a tranny,
Though twas purchased by a granny,
Subsequent owners were not kind.
Showing signs of its maltreatment,
Nevertheless it makes a statement,
Of a very patient and enduring mind.

Bad repairs must be undone,
And properly begun,
To get the poor thing into shape of ship.
And when my critical eye,
A hack job does espy,
Previous owners I so want to whip.

Too much chrome for modern eyes,
Though personally I despise,
The angry cluttered look of cars today.
To me it looks just right,
I gaze upon it with delight,
And no one e’er will my opinion sway.

No modern electronics cause a fuss,
No touchscreen or CANBUS,
In 1988 twas not invented.
So with vacuum modulated,
Temp is set, speed moderated,
And with this ancient tech I am contented.

There’s a small four-digit screen,
Glowing in a mild blue-green,
To tell me things that I might want to know.
Now and average MPG,
Or gallons burnt I see,
All waiting for a button switch’s throw.

Though the doors aren’t bullet proof,
It’s got a padded vinyl roof,
And its luxury extends to the back seat.
Passengers can open doors,
Without assistance and what’s more,
Their bums reside on soft velour’ed pleats.

I realize it’s queer,
To fetishize one model year,
But I’ll countenance no other in its place.
For 87 is built too square,
And 89 and airbag’s there,
Waiting just to punch me in the face.

The vinyl roof it’s capped with,
Holds my old man spirit captive,
Although it does require lots of care.
The UV light degrades it,
And dirt and dust abrades it,
But soap and 303 protect it fair.

In silence I do ride,
With no small measure of pride,
Gliding over potholes with a smile.
Powered by a 5 point oh,
Though the output’s rather low,
It effortlessly eats up every mile.

In September it’s all fixed,
Last repair-box has been ticked,
And so I eagerly await horizon’s fate.
For the mileage is so low,
Many thousands more to go,
Another purchase I won’t contemplate.

Writing poetry isn't hard. Stopping is hard.