Back in '04 or so, I was into RC rock crawling in a big way. Back then you had to make your own stuff, and modify things you bought to make them work better. This includes tires. Available tires (with a few exceptions) were too stiff and nowhere near grippy enough. So I learned the fine art of siping.

Siping is accomplished with a Dremel tool cutoff wheel, and involves cutting fine grooves in the tread lugs.

This creates a lot of dust and smoke. The smoke goes away. The dust sticks to ya, because it's melted rubber. Hand cleaner won't touch it, soap is a joke, shampoo, and other household cleaners were similarly ineffective.

Lacquer thinner does a hell of a job on it, though. Dries the skin something fierce.

While I was doing this job, I was wearing shorts, and boxers, and holding the tire between my knees. Seemed the most comfortable way to get things done. Didn't think about the rubber dust on my hands or legs, because I knew the thinner would take it off.

After the third tire was done, I had to take a leak.

Uh oh. Seems that rubber dust gets... everywhere. The old twig & berries had a liberal coating of the stuff.

Only one thing gets it off, remember?

Well, what's the worst that could happen? Thinner doesn't hurt when I use it on my hands, right? I went to work on it.

Jesus H. Tap-dancing Christ, that hurts! I mean, I'm on fire down there, and it doesn't stop hurting, either. We're talking major, tear-inducing, screaming pain. It went on for hours. The worst part was knowing I had to finish the job after the pain started (the job was finished).

I suppose a moisturizing lotion would have ameliorated it some, but at that point I wasn't thinking real clearly, and I probably didn't have any anyway.

No, I didn't even start on the fourth tire.

TL;DR version: Don't clean your cock with lacquer thinner.

Went to AutoZone to turn in my used oil (that I didn't buy there) and saw this:

That's an odd secondary reflection... or IS it?

Separated at birth, together again.

Belongs to the store manager. We had a nice chat.

Cop was a real hard-ass, too.

The Challenger is now a 2018 CX-5 Sport AWD. I'm gonna miss it, but Mrs Hotness can get into and out of this one without pain or drama.

Happy wife, happy life.

The dealer did a good Svend job on it. Very nearly acceptable (OCD speaking). They overdid the tire shine, but I guess that's par for the course.

10K miles, CPO warranty, etc etc. The trade-in on the Challenger was too good to pass up.

The owner's manual is a fucking brick. Like Stephen King wrote it, and then got the OK from the publisher to put all the cuttings back in. Someday I will figure out the infotainment.

Overall, it ain't bad.

Seems like yesterday I brought this thing home:

So you're all just dying to know, what's it like living with an outdated, oversized, underpowered, underdamped land yacht on a daily basis?

Pretty awesome, actually, once you get the bugs ironed out. Most of those bugs were due to bad repairs by previous stewards. And while that was annoying and occasionally expensive, it's also done.

Reliability has been 10/10, never failed to start on the first try, even during the sorting-out period. That's because I fired the parts cannon at it early, in a sustained barrage.

It's been driven in all weather, from 0F to 90+, wet and dry, for 22 months. So here's the review:

Interior: 10/10

Look at all that blue velour.
New for 1988 was lumbar support in the seatbacks, and 33 years later it's still comfy. You don't sit in these seats, you sit on them, and you rely on seatbelts and friction to hold you in place during cornering, but if you're moving around you're going too fast. It's an obvious case of "not a sports car" and if you can wrap your head around that and drive it as such, it can get on with what it's good at, which is comfort.

This isn't performance luxury, it's grandpa luxury. Grandpa wants quiet and soft, and moderate speeds. And lots of room in the back seat. Adults will be comfortable with lots of room, even wearing a hat.

There are seatbelts for six. Might get a little tight. Four will ride in supreme comfort.

Chassis: 7/10

Yeah, don't have too many chassis pics.

What it's good at, it's really good at, being smooth and comfy. If you push it, you're gonna get lots of body roll and tire squeal (215s don't give you a lot of contact on a 3800 lb car (255-60's in the pic)) but it will turn, predictably and safely, but with a bit of drama. This is the car's way of saying "please don't do that." Keep doing that, and you're going to Understeer City.

Steering is super light and over-assisted. You really can park with one finger, if it's a decently-strong finger. Not much road feel. Back to doing what it's good at, which is isolating you from the road.

Brakes: 4/10

Front 10.5"discs, rear 10" drums. They do the job around town and on the freeway exits, but for any sort of spirited driving, they're seriously undersized. Overboosted and with no ABS, you'll want to leave some room in front. Don't drive it like you have a lot of brakes, because you don't.

Gadgets: 6/10

Well, you've got a primitive trip computer and a radio with six speakers. What more do you want?

Luxury touches include automatic temp control, which still works and works well, even. And a power antenna, which still works:

In 1988, poors had to get out of the car to put their antenna up.

Power seats, windows, locks mirrors, tilt wheel and cruise control we take for granted today, but you were big pimpin' if you had all those 30 years ago. And I do, and they work. I guess that makes me a pimp. I sure feel like one driving this car. Automatic headlights, too.

Power: 4/10

Five liter V8 with a whopping 150 HP, but a good 275 lb-ft at 2000 rpm. The torque gets you going quickly enough and then it's time for the transmission to do work. Usually you're running at 2,000 rpm or less, which keeps you right there at the torque peak. So it feels faster than it is. 1/4 mile time is in the low 17s which is hilariously slow by 2021 standards.

All this is down to the throttle body. It's 52mm, about what you'd find on a Harley. Good port velocity, but it's all done by 3.500 and literally will not rev past 4,000. Kind of genius engineering for its intended use.

Sequential EFI was a really big deal in 1988.

Economy: 2/10

Did you expect better? Why? 15 city, 25 highway. If you need more, get a Prius.

Cargo room: 10/10

22 cubic feet. You can literally haul 4 mounted tires and a week's worth of groceries at the same time, and get the lid closed. Room left over for a dead hooker, if she's small. If you need more room than that, you can always rent a van.

Safety: 2/10
No air bags, no electro-nannies. Don't crash and you'll be fine. If you do crash, the full perimeter frame might help. But don't crash.

Style (subjective) 8/10:

It's your thing, or it isn't. Insert your own number here. Personally, I dig it. Even the padded vinyl roof.

Maintenance: 9/10
This is all stone-age stuff. The oil filter is easy to get at and change, and you don't need to digitally pair any replacement parts. I'm gonn ding it one point for the single-stage enamel paint, which takes a bit of care or it'll go chalky. But with regular svending, it looks really good. 90% of the paint is original (half of one quarter panel has been resprayed).

What else ya want to know?

Covered my door strikers with 1/2 inch CPVC pipe. Why, what's that do? The striker is quite a bit smaller than the opening in the jaws of the latch. So with the door closed,it would sometimes rattle. And closing it wasn't a sure thing, sometimes the door would bounce back off the weatherstrip before the latch closed, and it would latch in the halfway "safety" position. Also very noisy when opening. CLACK!

Now: Opens silently, and closes every time effortlessly. Like with one finger. Feels like somebody stole my car and left me a 1980s Mercedes instead.

Had the roofers come over for a little party today. Party for me, anyway. I got to stay inside and drink while they did all the work. Since a full tear-off wasn't much more than a lay-over job, that's what I decided on, and glad I was that I did.

Not really a surprise was that the roof itself is planks rather than plywood. Back when they built this house, plywood was more expensive than dimensional lumber, so the roof deck is a bunch of 1x8s (I think, didn't go up there to measure and it's way too late now).

What surprised me and shouldn't have was that there was NO underlayment between the shingles and the wood. None.

This roof was laid on as part of the airport expansion back in the 90s, and everyone in the neighborhood got a new roof, windows and air conditioning, the idea being that you could just close your windows and not hear all the jets. More likely it was a bribe to the homeowners so they wouldn't bitch about the noise. Whatever. Covid did more for noise abatement than anything else could have.

Bottom line, the contractor cheaped out on the roofs. Which explains all the loose shingles and the amount of roofing going on here the past couple of years.

Another surprise was that when the crew removed the three square attic vents, there were no holes under them. Maybe the contractor figured the gaps between the planks were ventilation enough. So the attic vents were purely decorative, while also being hideously ugly.

So now we've got 30-year shingles, underlayment/vapor barrier, a proper roof-cap attic vent, and a 110mph wind warranty. And the half-assery has been banished. By the time this roof fails, I'll be too old to care.

Scratchbuild time!

I wanted a challenge, and got one. Fully scratchbuilt body with lots of curves and a not-so-simple nose.

Chassis is a Tamiya TA-02 (yes it's RC, and yes I ran it) so the wheelbase is comically short. If we base the scale of the model off its width, the wheelbase would be around 80 inches. Yugo territory. So if it's gonna be malproportioned, I had a free hand.

The only parts I didn't make are the headlight buckets, driver and passenger. Everything else started out as sheet styrene. I think I missed the boat with the front wheel spats, the upper curve should go the other way.

Bird is hand-painted, mostly successfully. The head is a little off. The shaker is screwed to the hood, because of course it is. Really bugs me when people do that.

The shaker was the first thing I made. Actually made it for another model, but it didn't look right, so I put it aside and then decided to build a car around it, as one does.

I thought the fender extractors would be easy. They were not.

Had some fun with the back seat area.

One taillight and the passenger-side door are from a '77 Blue Bird edition. Lettering was fun. The spoiler end caps were hugely challenging, and I think I pulled it off.

Lace curtains.
Body mounts to the chassis with tubes ove the body posts in front under the hood, clips are hard to get to but well hidden. I definitely did not want exposed body posts. Rear inner fenders screw to the shock mounts. There's a clear 1/8" Lexan skid plate under the nose to keep it from getting torn off.

The hardest part to get right was the roof, because compound curve. Styrene will bend easily one way, but many pie cuts were required to get that big panel to curve properly. T-tops would have been a lot easier, but I wanted a challenge, remember?

More weathered scratchbuilt good(?)ness tomorrow.

That's a landau bar.

1962 T-bird landau bar for comparison:

Fight me.

My neighbor has one of these beasts in his garage. Not the one pictured, but the same color, and his has the lovely 8-lug wheels. Car doesn't get much exercise, so when he asked me to tag along for a cobweb-blowing jaunt, I said sure.

Review would not be complete without a pic of the wheels:

Which are actually just wheel rims bolted to the super fancy brake drum. Yes, 4-wheel drums. And I didn't die, not even once. Drum brakes get a bad rap, but for normal, non-racing use, they do just fine, even hauling 4,000 pounds down from highway speed. They are a pain in the ass to service, though.

Slide on into the blue vinyl seat, and you're greeted with this feast for the eyes:

Chrome, woodgrain, gauge pods, clear steering wheel. Welcome to the Jet Age. Because this isn't some cheap-ass Chevrolet, the vent windows have their own little cranks. The seat belts work like those on an airliner, too.

What the pic doesn't show is how close the wheel is to your chest. Power steering was an option back then, and you'd need the leverage of a close wheel if you wanted to park. With power steering, you can park with one finger. It's even lighter and less communicative than the Love Boat's, and that's saying something. I think the front wheels can turn a full 90 degrees, because even as long as it is, I didn't have any trouble making it around tight turns.

Both pedals were a little stiff. But there's an abundance of power from the 389, guzzling fuel through four venturis, each of which you could stick your head in.

Power goes through the 2-speed Super Turbine 300 automatic, which I think has a lockup in top gear. Shift pattern is PNDLR. It didn't get standardized til later. In everyday driving, upshift happens at about 15 mph. And it feels totally fine.

You'd expect a full-size car from 1964 to be really floaty, and you'd be right. Bring something else to the autocross. The ride is full-sized sublime. You know there are bumps, somewhere, but they're not your problem. Handling limits are dictated not by the suspension or the tires (older radials) but by the slippery seat. Drive naked and you can corner faster, until you start to sweat.

In 1964, you'd be a baller driving one of these. In 2021, that much more so, but you make sacrifices. No AC on this one, and cold starts appreciate a splash of fuel down the carb before cranking. You could daily it, but you probably wouldn't like it. But for a weekend cruiser, hell yeah.

These aren't as pricey as GTOs, so if you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up.

I'll just dial the death wish up to 11 and install a Turbonique Drag Axle.

They've come a long way since the 70s. Back then it wasn't uncommon to see Fords missing the bottom six inches of bodywork after 8-10 years. Although to be fair, Chevys and Dodges did the same thing.

@rallydarkstrike Can recommend the Cabot Trail. We did it in 2014, I imagine they're done with the construction now.

Buy it! Why would you not?

@musashi66 If you want it to fit under the hood, something pre-1950s. That's a seriously tall engine.

Just imagine the shenanigans in a '39 Anything with 1000 HP. Beam axles, drum brakes, skinny bias-ply tires, no seatbelts. What could go wrong?

@jawzx2 Now THAT is a ship's dick.

You can buy a lot of gas for 175 kilobucks. And gas even works in wintertime!

@annoying_salman Just for reference, that would get you about 2.5 hours body-shop labor over here. No materials, paint, or nothin' but labor. About what it would take to pull the carpet and strip the undercoating to evaluate the damage.

@cé-hé-sin Thank you.
I can't tell you how much it bothers me seeing one of those on the recreation of Noah's Ark, which is regularly advertised here.

Even assuming they knew about bulbs in whatever-BC, there can't be much advantage to using one on an unpowered vessel.

@whoistheleader said in Traveled Back In Time To 1955:

@ranwhenparked said in Traveled Back In Time To 1955:

the final use would have been in the E-Series. I had an earlier version in an 80s Town Car, it was pretty smooth and delivered acceptable highway economy

I'm surprised at this. With only 4 speeds it would suffer on the low and top ends. I guess if it works, it works. They were good at not breaking.

Remember that in the AOD's day, we had a 55mph speed limit. At that speed you're running just under 1500 RPM. And even back then, the only RWD applications were Panthers, Foxes and trucks. First and second are fairly loose, but you're into third (lockup) at 25 mph, and OD at 40. Mustangs (and T-Birds, maybe?) had a more aggressive governor for a more sporty feel.

In modern traffic, you're running 2,000 RPM at 80 mph, right at the engine's torque peak. It's not bad.

Early AOD's had weak OD servos and those would puke pretty regularly, but the servos were upgraded later. An intelligent rebuild can make the AOD last a good long time.

I've had to become informed on AODs due to a bad rebuild:

That's not what the fluid is supposed to look like after 1,000 miles.