Back in 2007, a 14-year-old me booted up a satin white Xbox 360 for the first time and inserted its first game: Test Drive Unlimited. One of my first cars in the game would be one that I ended up driving quite a lot. It was a yellow Saturn Sky and over the course of a couple of years or so I racked up thousands of virtual miles taking digital road trips around Oahu, Hawai'i.

Growing up, my dream cars were often cars that I had Matchbox diecasts of and played with in videogames. Another notable example is the first-generation Audi TT Quattro. I made the Audi a reality in 2020 and now yesterday a little yellow Saturn followed me home.

It's a Sky Red Line. Under the hood is a 2-liter four making 260 hp and 260 tq, driving the rear wheels through a manual. Yeah, it's a fast little Satty! But my favorite part is the torque. Want to pass some slow traffic while climbing through the Ozarks? Yeah, it'll do that without even requiring a downshift.

It isn't perfect; it will need some paint retouching in the back and probably a new front bumper, but at $8k, I'm not really complaining. Most Red Line asking prices are like $11k+ right now.

We drove some 600 miles southwest to pick it up in Branson, Missouri. I drove most of the way back top-down. And yeah, it came with matching shades!

It drove flawlessly on the way home and the dash doesn't even have a warning light on. I even scored around 28 mpg going a sustained 85 mph.

Of course, bad news has a tendency to follow me and this time is no exception. Sheryl's Prius began giving an intermittent oil pressure light. It usually came on while stopping or while trying to keep up with me on the highway.

The oil level is full and it's clean on the dipstick (she got an oil change 3k ago). It also tastes like good ol' synthetic. I'm hoping it's just the oil pressure sensor dying in an intermittent manner???????? Annoyingly, doing a pressure test requires getting the car up on jack stands. And if I'm doing that I might as well replace the sensor while I'm under there.

Another explanation could be an electrical gremlin. The car's been acting weird lately with the clocks changing themselves, traction control system giving random warnings, and more. Maybe I'll start by replacing the old 12V battery in back.

Anyway, Saturn Sky Red Line: It's the coolest car to ever wear the rings of Saturn on it.

Over a year ago, one of my lovely neighbors decided that they didn't like me and didn't like my cars. I mean, they to this day call me "it." They told the condo association to have all of them towed. The condo association obliged, making up reasons to tow my cars that neither indicates anything illegal, or anything that breaks the very clear bylaws.

The tow company hired for the job didn't have a license, didn't have insurance, didn't have a tow yard, and had family and friends towing cars. These people weren't employees or even contractors.

My Volkswagen Passat W8 was pulled across a parking lot in gear. The doors were unlocked and the car has the rare six-speed manual option, so the guy who towed my car (who wasn't an employee) was just being lazy. It was never answered -- even in court -- why they felt the need to drag the car so far in the first place.

At any rate, when I tried to retrieve the car I discovered it to be unable to leave the "tow yard," an unfenced, unprotected residential backyard. It would not shift into or out of gear with the engine running. It would only shift with the engine off. If you tried to force it, oh man you were met with so much grinding. I drove the car the day before the tow and it was fine. I tried to bleed the clutch on the spot in a wasted effort, thinking maybe air was somewhere. It made no difference.

A sticker affixed to the driver window indicated that the car didn't have a parking pass nor a license plate. It had both. The condo association's management company didn't have an answer for how its employee missed them.

My Passat TDI wagon was also pulled across the lot, in park, of course. This car would not get out of park. The sticker on the driver window didn't give a reason for the tow and none was given to me.

My Ford E-350 Power Stroke was also dragged across the lot. It was also in park. Thankfully, it did drive out under its own power, but there were some horrible driveline vibrations. The reason given for towing this one was that it had spray paint on it. Once again, the bylaws made no mention of how your car has to look.

I do not live in an affluent neighborhood. Cars are so rusty out here that parts fall off just when sitting. Every other car here has an expired plate, flat tires, and no parking pass. Shoot, a Nissan sat on jackstands for weeks. There is a Dodge Caravan that has been abandoned here for longer than I've lived here. A teenager spray painted his tires and gave his car spray painted racing stripes. None of them have been towed.

Because of all of that, I sued, and just over a year later, I won.

Not only did the condo association and the tow company have to pay me for illegally towing my cars, but they had to return the cars that were unable to leave under their own power.

Thus, I got both the W8 and the TDI back today, covered in dirt and sticks from overgrowth of some kind.

Yes, these cars were basically stored in David Tracy's backyard mud pit.

I got both cars to start and even got the TDI out of park, but it's making no oil pressure. That was a problem before the tow that I was contemplating on fixing, but I've already replaced the car.

The W8's transmission issue persists. Both have already been sold to become parts for other Passats. As for the van, it got vandalized by someone trying to get it towed again, likely my neighbor or friend of the tow company that sent me a death threat. Then it was stolen during the court case by meth heads. They destroyed the van so bad that I had to scrap it.

You'll read more about this in the coming days and weeks!

One of the few diesel-powered Smart Fortwos in the United States, now all mine!

$6,000 and came with records going back to the original Canadian owner, three sets of wheels and a catalog of newly installed parts.

This means that at least for now I own five Smarts.

The time has finally come! I drove out to Washington state and hauled my new kei car home. It needs a really good detailing and a couple of repairs (what 30 year old car doesn't?), but the car is a dream come true!

Huge recommend to The Import Guys. They made the importation of this thing easier than buying a new car, seriously!

Did my first mod, the sweet shift knob by @CobraJoe ! The knob is waaaay better than the factory one, which you could really only fit a few fingers on. lol

Oh, and I have a mini warehouse, now! Electricity and enough space for six cars and all of my motorcycles.

My tow vehicle was stolen and subsequently destroyed (that's going to be a wild story), so I replaced it with something really stupid. The car that brought my Beat home is a suspiciously cheap Volkswagen Touareg that somehow didn't break in the 4,200-mile trip. lol

A year ago I bought a 1999 Triumph Tiger. It's my first Triumph and my first adventure bike. I adore the alien vibes and the 900cc triple's soundtrack hits like a drug. I've even taken it off-road! But its electrical system has been decidedly English.

When I bought the bike its odometer flickered on and off, the headlights were dim, and the horn sounded weak. The seller told me that it needed a new battery, and I used my jump pack to start it and get it home.

I bought one of those cheap flooded batteries from Walmart, filled it with its electrolyte, charged it, then chucked it into the Triumph.

To my surprise it didn't start. It didn't even turn over. Now, this battery was smaller than specified, but it was still fully charged and brand spankin' new, so I expected it to do something. But I got nothing.

For the time being I just rode the bike by jumping it with a jump pack. I put a good 1,000 miles on it like that. During that time the flickering, dim lights and whatnot didn't cease. It did very occasionally start with its battery, and that should have been the clue.

I did test the alternator, and it put out 13.5 volts to the battery. So I've read on forums for this bike, these older fuel injected Triumph triples will put out about that much voltage at idle, so that's fine.

Eventually I did get a proper battery for it and that resolved the starting issue...sorta.

See, it took me all of the way until a few weeks ago to learn that these bikes won't even turn over unless the voltage is high enough. And stuff like a flickering odometer is a sign of too low voltage.

I shot myself in the foot with the too small battery. And while the new battery was big enough, if it dropped voltage enough, say, before a winter cold start, it would fail to even turn over the bike.

Some owners on forums have various remedies for this from shortening the battery cables to hooking up the battery to a tender every night... even solar panels!

I have to go through this thing's electrical system one day. It probably has some bad connections here and there, maybe even a frayed wire or two. But until then I decided to try something new. I went nuclear and picked up a Noco NLP14.

This lithium battery is the equivalent of a BTX14-BS but at a fraction of the weight. And of course, the battery chemistry means strong voltage even if the charge isn't at 100%.

I slapped it into the Triumph and my Buell Lightning. The Buell's performance was incredible. It turned over faster than it ever did before. And the Triumph?

Its lights, both dashboard and the beams, were brighter than I have ever seen them. And all of those low voltage gremlins have taken a hike.

I'm impressed, to say the least. It's like having a jump pack permanently installed to the bike. It hasn't died yet so I can't comment on longevity without the engine running. But I also haven't tried to see how long it could last.

The fit and finish is also pretty incredible. The plastic is really nice and I love the attention to detail. You get these little spacers to size up the battery for your bike.

I'm going to film a comparison between this and a new lead acid battery because the before and after is just that awesome. Or at least it is if you're running old junk like I do.

I now have the urge to get lithium batteries for the cars. But uh, since this little guy was $120 I don't even want to know what a car-sized model would cost. Maybe I'll go lithium for the delicate ones like the Volkswagen Touareg V10 TDI.

Sidebar: Any subject that I would write on Jalopnik will be written on Oppo until further notice! I am feeling a bit out of it, so I'm sorry if it's not as energetic as you would expect from me.

My Japanese imports are so close that I can almost taste them!

Against the great advice of Oppo, I decided to go full steam ahead with my plans of importing cars by myself with the help of my fiancée.

The first car is a 1991 Honda Beat. I paid $1,910 at auction for it then had an importer, The Import Guys, handle the rest. It has arrived in Washington state, is now legal with a title, and is ready for me to pick it up. Total cost thus far is $4,700!

It'll need a few cosmetic repairs, mainly to some faded paint and minor corrosion. Otherwise, it's ready to daily!

For a short cost breakdown:
$1,910 for the car.
$1,000 ocean shipping via RORO.
$1,100 flat fee to The Import Guys.
The rest went to land transport to port in Japan and a bunch of fees, totaling $4,700.

Note: According to The Import Guys, my auction actually went a bit over budget. However, the extra it went over was low enough that they just discounted that from my total so it stayed on budget.

The second vehicle is the one that we're handling mostly ourselves. I used Japan Car Direct to handle paperwork in Japan, place my bids, and to arrange transport. The rest is on us. It's a 1989 Suzuki Every Turbo RX. I spent $1,250 at auction for it and at the moment, I'm in $3,200.

Like the Beat, the van needs some cosmetic fixes, but nothing too big.

For a short cost breakdown:
$1,250 for the van.
$620 to Japan Car Direct.
$1,000 ocean shipping via RORO.
$350 land shipping to port + auction fees for a current total of about $3,200.

Now I make a fun trek out to Washington to pick up the Beat! Stay tuned for further shenanigans. Next, I do an ISF filing for the Suzuki for its journey to America.

We made it halfway to Tennessee before I got a call from the local PD. Apparently, someone tried to claim that I stole all of the cars that I park at home and attempted to have the police tow them. This is an interesting follow up to a previous accusation that I run an illegal car dealership. LOL

We ended up turning back and going home. I'd rather miss out on a rally than come home to no cars. Today, we decided to move the remainder of my fleet to my storage areas. It's inconvenient to drive to my warehouse just to drive something different, but screw it, I'm so done with this.

Sadly, the home search isn't going well, so we're still at the apartment until that changes. We even considered just moving to a different apartment, but rent is absurd. Hopefully, removing all but my beater Touareg, the Triumph, and her Prius from the property will ease the Karen-ing.

Anyway, also decided to use this extra time to wrench. Specifically, I wanted to get my 2012 smart back on the road. My mobile mechanic got it running again, but it wasn't driving.

To rectify that today, I removed the beat up and flat TSWs and replaced them with some new (to me) Lorinsers.

Then I stuck a crowbar into the engine bay and forced the car out of Park. I finished with an oil change and a new battery.

And after 2.5 years of sitting? The car drives fantastic. The engine had a little knock at first, but it went away as I exercised it. The brakes--which had just 1,000 miles on them back when I parked the car in 2019--cleaned themselves up.

It also got its first wash since 2018.

And after a bunch of redline runs the car drives just as good as it did before it was parked. There were a TON of stored codes, but all of them appeared to be from when the car was sitting. I cleared them and they didn't come back.

Why was this car parked in the first place? Well, back in October 2019 the alternator seized. I couldn't find any mechanic willing to touch it without an estimate more than the little car was worth. Even Mercedes-Benz dealers gave me crazy quotes.

So I resolved myself to just fix it myself. Eventually days turned to weeks, those weeks turned into months, then before you know it the car hadn't run in over a year. Getting to the alternator requires lowering the engine, and that was just beyond my comfort zone.

My lifesaver came in the form of a new local mobile mechanic. This fella not only did a dealership-quality job, but did it on the cheap. I now have him fix everything.

As for the little smart, I'm going to restore it to its former glory. Some new panels, an interior detail, and hopefully some subframe rust removal.

My Sky made the 600-mile road trip home just fine! The same cannot be said for Sheryl's Prius, which is still giving off random oil pressure warnings. I'll have to tackle that ASAP.

In the meantime, I've given the Sky a good wash and compiled a list of things that I should fix.

An Oppo has given me the car's service history and thankfully its previous owners liked going to the dealership. A LOT has been replaced on this car, but it actually explains why it has over 100k miles but doesn't look like the other 100k+ Solstices and Sky that I've seen. Even the folding top has been replaced.

The front bumper has seen some far better days. The clear coat is peeling from rock hits and the lip is broken from what I bet was one of those concrete stops in a parking space.

It doesn't need to be replaced but I'll do it, anyway.

The paint also has a small crack on the left quarter panel from what looks like a light parking lot tap. It shouldn't be too hard to get someone to touch it up.

Inside, I just need to get a new passenger cupholder.

Not a bad list!

The engine runs great and the check engine light is off, but there was a load of historical stored codes. They seem to coincide with the dealership work, but have never been cleared, I guess.

At any rate, I cleared them and they haven't come back.

This is already one of my favorite cars, and the funny part is that I drove 600 miles to Branson without knowing if I would fit or if I would even like how it drives. I can count on one hand how many of these I've seen in real life.

Unfortunately, these aren't really for larger folks. Get much wider or taller than I am (5'6" 250 lb) and I doubt you'd be comfortable. And the ergonomics don't make any sense. Your cupholder is basically behind you and the window controls require you to contort a little. It definitely has the feel of something that was rushed into production.

No, this is meant for driving and basically driving only. And I love it. This one is definitely going where I keep the forever cars.

I started off the year still stunned to be working a dream job, but things happened at a pretty breakneck pace.

January

Rescued this lovable toothless Chihuahua only a day before the shelter was going to put him down. Gained a bunch of flight hours.

February

My parts hauling van got stolen by meth heads. My neighbor then blew up his own car.

March

Participated in some of the cross-country Gamblinball Run in my girlfriend's $600 Dodge Dakota. Picked up a Triumph Tiger.

April

My girlfriend became my fiancee during a Gambler 500. We got engaged at one of my favorite places in the world. ️

First Lake Michigan swim of the year.

May

Picked up a Honda Beat in Washington. Won the first half of a lengthy court case. First ever new car review with the 2022 Volkswagen Taos. Bought a dirt cheap Volkswagen Touareg VR6 just for the trip.

June

Picked up a Volkswagen Touareg V10 TDI and a Nova Bus RTS-06.

July

Picked up a Suzuki Every in Maryland. Finally received a student pilot license after the FAA took months to issue one.

Picked up a Volkswagen Phaeton. Sold my slammed and bagged widebody Jetta.

August

Went boating for the first time in a long time, had a blast.

September

Rallied a rusty Dodge Grand Caravan and learned some about an awesome piece of Tennessee railroad history.

Did my favorite review yet, a week in California with a Can-Am Ryker Rally.

October

Rallied that Grand Caravan again, sadly this time it experienced a catastrophic transmission failure in the woods.

Picked up a once forbidden fruit Passat TDI wagon.

November

Last Lake Michigan swim of the year. Fixed an issue with my Triumph Tiger that had me stumped for months.

December

Got this gorgeous little green cheek conure. Got my 2012 Smart running after letting it sit for...too long. Won the second half of my court case. Got the cars caught in the court case back, sold them same day.

In 2022 I hope to expand my dream car collection with a Grumman LLV and/or a Saturn Sky. A girl can dream.

I also want to get some nice, secluded property and marry my fiancee. I also need to get a bit healthier, as working from home has taken a toll.

Maybe if I work hard enough I can get a pilot license, too!

My Passat W8 met an unfortunate fate under the hands of an illegitimate tow company. I'm not likely to ever see the car again and if I do, we already know it's trashed.

So I've taken this irritating moment to do something a bit dumb but really fun. I replaced the W8 with none other than a V10 TDI. I paid a suspiciously cheap price for it. Like, so cheap that my fiancee was 50% sure it was a trap.

But aside from the air suspension compressor not working it runs great! It doesn't even have a check engine light.

It seems maybe the seller didn't know what they had, and priced it on the low end of blue book value.

If you've never driven a V10 TDI, DON'T. This engine is as addictive as a drug and the intoxication will have you ignoring the prospect of removing the engine to do... anything.

In typical VW fashion, I've already had to do a repair. Someone put 5-Amp fuses in places that draw a bit more than 5. New fuses in and it works even better.

I'll be there!

@davesaddiction Flooring it is just the normal operation of a smart if you want to keep up with traffic. I'm sure to bang off of that rev limiter on every drive. But the Mitsubishi engines of a second-gen smart are known to go 250+k miles despite it.

With this guy's replacement schedule I'd be on my third engine by now. lol

I feel like there has to be something else to this story than "guy floors it all the time." I mean, you legit can't floor it all the time, anyway, unless you're riding your brakes or something.

@fintail $6k for a low-mile Acty isn't bad, and I think those '97s have fuel injection, too. I was about $3.8k all-in on my Suzuki Every Turbo van, but it has rust and the 90k km odometer mileage is unconfirmed.

I've been told that some of these states are also banning old military trucks like the deuce and a half. Same reasoning is being used, too.

In the near future I will be filing about a million FOIA requests to see if I can maybe follow the money. I know that the AAMVA is the cause of this, but why?

Context? I Googled "red crab ring" and didn't get the results that I expected..

@MisterButtercup The total list as of now is Maine, New York, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, and Georgia.

Maine, Georgia, and Rhode Island are all seeking to remove all JDM imports from their roads, not just kei trucks. Maine is infamously canceling registrations of Toyota Crowns, Mitsubishi Delicas, and other not kei cars.

Pennsylvania has grandfathered in existing registrations, but has made it so that the title can no longer be transferred. Basically, if you ever sell your kei truck it will no longer be road legal.

New York is currently revoking registrations, I'm still investigating the impact.

Vermont has also responded to this debacle. As of right now, Vermont says that you can register an imported JDM vehicle for road use so long as it passes inspection...so more or less the status quo.

The ad is also 100% bait for sites like The Drive and Jalopnik. He's been "selling" the thing for years. I will not give him clicks even though the car is right up my alley. lol

@e90m3 He's actually not too far off. His YouTube presence is absolute trash, but between TikTok and Instagram the car probably does have at least a million views.

There's so much yeehaw going on with this that I have to find out why.

Thus far it seems like a YouTuber wanted to get famous with it, and from the looks of it the plan hasn't paid off just yet.

@GibbsEmphasis And I can personally back you up on that. I gave a Forester Wilderness a serious beating. That front skid plate worked overtime and the suspension didn't get a chance to rest for hours. Myself and the MotorWeek lady with me were impressed that it took so much and didn't even produce a single error... and didn't throw any airbags at us.

On the road drive back to base the suspension remained quiet, no rattles, squeaks or knocks.

So kudos to Subaru for making an off-road trim that isn't just for looks. Sadly, our test car was due to be crushed once the media and Subaru were done playing with it. Hopefully, whoever gets to drive it last gives it a good send off.

Sadly, it's a cool, but small victory. When a scam call center gets taken down, another takes its place. As of now, Facebook doesn't even ban the groups that scammers create to trade "leads" like pokemon cards.