Had a session with my therapist last Wednesday.

My first one in a long time. I cried from start to finish. Not a “manly” thing to admit, but oh well.

She helped me realize that depression is bad right now because I’m quite literally lonely. I work from home and I don’t really have any friends.

I mean, I have “friends”, but I don’t hang out or spend time with anyone other than my wife and the kids. And when the kids are at their grandparents and my wife is busy with her mom or with her other mom friend(s), I’m alone. The only place I have to go is my grandma’s (my grandma is my mom, basically, since my mom died when I was 11). I mean, I’m an introvert but damn I’d like to hang out sometimes with some people.

It just sucks. In the summer, I had some car show buddies that I’d see on weekends, but that has stopped. And I wasn’t super close to any of them. Just surface level. We used to have a men’s group at church but that stopped, too.

I just miss having friends. My best friend since childhood lives 2 hours away and is a busy successful full-time realtor with no kids. So, our schedules hardly ever jive.

And only having my grandma to hang out with really makes me sad to think about how old she is and losing her someday. She turns 91 in February and although she is super healthy, I know my time is running short.

Loretta Lynn dying earlier this year really threw me for a loop, as silly as that sounds, because her and my grandma were the exact same age and even each had a stroke at about the same time. It just made me realize how little time I have left with her. It doesn’t help that Miss Loretta and my “Meemaw” (as I call her) are two tough, outspoken southern ladies. Not gonna lie, I played my Spotify Loretta Lynn playlist and shed more than a few tears.

Add to all of this the stress of my job changes coming Jan. 1 and our economic situation and I’m just kaput mentally and emotionally. I’m preconditioned to worry and stress anyway, being clinically diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. This shit is exhausting, to be frank.

I guess I need to get out more and try to make new friends. But my niche interests (for a guy, at least) and my lack of self/esteem plus my introvertedness make that so damn difficult. Why’s it gotta be so hard to meet guy friends that aren’t assholes?

Either way, I know I’m whining and I know that’s annoying, so if you’ve made it this far, well, kudos.

Mazda6 Christmas shot for your time. Took this a couple weeks ago.

I must preface this by saying a few things:

1. I don’t have a lot of close real-life friends, so you all get to hear/see my word vomit. Enjoy.
2. Please don’t reply with snarky and/or judgmental comments. We fucked up financially and we know that. No need to make me feel worse than I already do.
3. I’m depressed enough - try not to make it worse. Save your negativity. I have more than enough to go around.

My wife and I have decided to put our house up for sale. Yes, the one we just had built in 2020 and moved into in summer 2021.

It goes live on the MLS listings on Friday.

We just can’t keep going financially as we are and we’ve both had the thought in the back of our minds for a long time that we need to take this step, but we were too afraid to share it with each other. Yesterday, we finally did. It was a relief, to be honest.

Every month, we tread water monetarily. We don’t end negatively but we can’t save. We have no safety net. If either one of us lost our jobs, there’s nothing to fall back on. And that is scary and it sucks. Living in a big, new home while being like that is just stupid.

We are young-ish (33 and 32). We have made several dumb money decisions. The first was the Highlander and the second was this house. We reversed one and now we’re reversing another. And yes, I think it’ll sell, and so does our realtor. It’s new and has upgrades and it’s the only one for sale in the neighborhood with a 3-car garage. That’ll be the main feature. It’s one of 3 in the ‘hood that includes that.

My wife works in the mortgage industry. When we bought this house, interest rates were stupid low and business was booming. Her commission/bonus checks were paying the mortgage every month on their own. That’s not the case now and it isn’t forecasted to get any better anytime soon with a recession coming or already here depending on who you talk to. Her company has had 3 rounds of layoffs. I work for a bank on the default side, but we have had layoffs as well. So, there’s that.

We have done that math. Multiple times. By selling this house for anywhere remotely close to the asking price (including under it - we have forecasted for that), we will be able to pay off the CX-5, put 20% down on a smaller/older home (to avoid mortgage insurance), and pay moving expenses.

This sucks. Bad. We both cried some yesterday but it’s time to put on the big boy/big girl pants and move on. We’ve cut some expenses and such, but even those don’t make up for a giant mortgage payment. And, we’d rather be able to live life, go on trips, have fun experiences with the kids, etc. than just sit in our big house because we are too financially strapped to do anything else.

And yes, I’m losing my third car garage. Jolene will either have to move to an off-site storage facility like when I kept her at my friend’s house, or she will have to be sold. I haven’t quite decided yet. When I had her at my friend’s house, it was so much freaking trouble coordinating trying to get a ride over to get the car or leaving the 6 over there or whatever that I often just left Jolene alone because I didn’t feel like dealing with it. And what’s the point of having the car if I’m gonna do that? I could do a shed in the backyard situation like at our former house, if I find a backyard suitable enough. But there are currently zero homes around here like that.

Photo for your time. Happier times.

Went to a cruise-in car show and Jolene won a trophy! FYI…best “non-three” means non-Chevy, non-Ford, non-Mopar. But not import. They had a separate import award. I thought “non-three” meant non-“big three”, but the big three is/was GM, Ford, and Chrysler. And Pontiac is GM, so…yeah.

Either way, a win is a win! I parked next to my buddy’s ‘90 Firebird.

They made this award because they have separate categories for Best Chevy, Best Ford, and Best Mopar.

Other cars there:

Reached peak mileage today.

Until I hit 80,085 miles someday, that is.

@Just-Jeepin’s new ride and my salty 6 had a mini photo shoot at Red Robin in Evansville, Indiana today.

Good to see you, John!

And the new Jeep is amazing. He offered to let me take it for a spin, but I haven’t driven a manual since 2018. So, for the sake of that new clutch, I declined.

My mom passed away in January 2001, when I was 11 and she was 40. Her last few years were sad and my childhood was as well because my stepfather was an abusive asshole, but let’s not dwell on that.

I went to visit her at the cemetery today as I always do on her birthday, and I listened to her favorite singer on the way there.

^^My mom and I circa 1994-ish. Pre-stepfather and when we were both happy. Note my mom’s epic ‘90s perm.

Anyway, I thought I’d enthrall you all with some vehicular-related tales of my mom’s general badassery.

1.) Her first car was a red late-1960s VW Beetle. She, like me, became emotionally attached to her vehicles and this was no exception. But, her dad, my grandfather, owned a used car lot and just gave his kids whatever cars were sitting on the lot the longest. The Beetle had a problem with the speedometer, so it got sent to a shop for a fix. The mechanic liked it and bought it. No more Beetle for mom. Which leads me to story number 2.

2.) My mom was super sad about the Beetle and basically gave my grandpa the silent treatment over it. This was in the mid-1970s as the fuel embargo crap was taking over. He coincidentally had a 455 Trans Am that he was having trouble selling, so he gave her that. My mom was known around town for embarrassing dudes in Chevelles on various county backroads with that Trans Am. My uncle (mom’s younger brother) even said that she got it sideways through a parking lot to pass a guy that pissed her off one night. He said it was basically a scene straight out of Smokey and the Bandit and he was the scared Sally Field passenger.

3.) My father died in July 1991 as a result of a drunk driving crash that he caused (it was a one-vehicle crash). My mom used his life insurance money to buy herself and almost-two-year-old-me a house next door to my grandma and a then-new 1991 Chevrolet Corsica LT sedan with the venerable 3.1 GM V6. It was the perfect mom car for hauling baby me around in. As a child, I also got ferried to elementary school in the Corsica. One day, I remember its battery being dead. Our only alternative was to use my asshole stepfather’s 1994 Chevrolet C/K Dually with a manual. My mom amazed me as she shifted gears better than my stepfather, all while she wore her business suit/skirt for her late-1990s medical office job and her high heels. I remember her telling me “I don’t look at the tach as much as some people. I shift by how it feels. You get to know your vehicle better that way.”

Anyway, that’s my mom. I miss her.

If you read this far, thanks. That was kinda cathartic for me.

P.S. The Corsica made it to 175,000 miles relatively problem-free before my stepfather sold it in summer 2001 - right after my mom’s death. My grandpa tried to convince him to keep it for me to have for my first car when I turned 16, but no dice. I’ve tried to locate it, but no luck. I remember its license plate number but nothing comes up when I search it. I was honestly looking for a Beretta or a Corsica in 2018 when I found Jolene.

On Saturday, it was a foundation and a pile of lumber. This is today.

The Amish dudes don’t mess around. Still looking at an early July move-in.

As y’all know, we’re building a house (it’s almost done - we move in in two weeks).

And we added a third car garage specifically for Jolene! My wife and kids got me this custom made sign for Father’s Day!

Had to leave a Pontiac group on social media tonight because two guys decided to team up and pester me about how “crappy” Jolene is and how she “doesn’t belong in the group.”

Direct quote from them: “It may be a Pontiac but it’s front wheel drive junk that would run an 18 second quarter mile. People were just surprised to see it outside of a junkyard.” One guy even kept going when he couldn’t get me to fight back and couldn’t get the response he wanted out of me. He eventually just turned to posting laugh emojis over and over again.

Keep in mind these were both 30 or 40-something dudes with GTOs as their profile pictures.

I’ll never understand full grown adult men that want to belittle strangers on social media, but whatever. People seriously need to take a long look at themselves and find something better to do with their lives! At least I had good in-person feedback at the cruise-in tonight. Trying to focus on that. I assumed a Pontiac group on Facebook would be open to all Pontiacs. Wrong!

If you don’t like tattoos, this isn’t for you.

Finally took the plunge yesterday. Yolo.

This’ll be my only one. No desire for more, surprisingly. It didn’t hurt as bad as I expected. Not pleasant, but not unbearable. I was able to talk to the guy during it. P.S. He’s a Mazda dude. Has 2 RX-8s and a track-ready Miata.

@davesaddiction said in US net migration (state-to-state), 2022:

@ash78 said in US net migration (state-to-state), 2022:

infrastructure

The more companies allow WFH, the less need there is for more lanes or toll roads. Will be interesting to see how that plays into things moving forward.

Louisville has an I-65 bridge toll road now going into Indiana. I see it every time I go up to visit my best friend who lives in the cesspool that is that city.

The city-dwellers that need to go back and forth across the river do everything they can to either minimize trips, combine them, or avoid the toll altogether.

No. I wish. I sold my ‘99 Grand Am GT that was my high school car and it lived a LONG time (200k+ miles) and I used to see it around town as it gradually fell apart from abuse and just being a Grand Am. But it eventually got wrecked and died. I wish I’d have gotten one last drive. I loved that car.

@e90m3 said in US net migration (state-to-state), 2022:

@Mazda616 That sucks man, you get a lot of people looking now or not a lot of traction?

On the upside, at least you're being smart and didn't buy before selling your house and end up with two mortgages.

Three people have looked. One guy said it was “too sterile” and had “no character.” I said he was an idiot for looking for “character” in a new build in a new neighborhood.

The other two were both really old couples that walked away when they found all the bedrooms were upstairs. And I said they were dumb for considering a two story house in the first place…which 99% of the homes in this ‘hood are.

Nothing aside from that. Meh.

@e90m3 said in US net migration (state-to-state), 2022:

@Mazda616 So I take it no one from Cali flush with cash has offered to buy the house yet?

Freaking no. I wish. We are dead in the water as far as that goes. Probably going to lose the smaller/older house we have our eye on since ours is going to end up taking so long to sell.

@ash78 said in US net migration (state-to-state), 2022:

@Mazda616 said in US net migration (state-to-state), 2022:

Damn. Kentucky stayed pretty much stagnant.

I see purple here as a good thing. You don't want massive growth, it's often more painful than it's worth for the economic/social gains.

You also REALLY don't want massive outflow, which is worse. But lower crowds

Agreed. I was mostly surprised we didn’t have an exodus. I guess people like Daddy Andy. I do, for the record.

Damn. Kentucky stayed pretty much stagnant.

@ZHP-Sparky-the-5th Glad everything is working out and I’m so sorry about the health insurance debacle. It amazes me that we as a country still allow health insurance companies to make medical decisions instead of doctors.

Want. I wish I had money.

I bet it’ll be a Nissan something or another.

Our neighbors have a new Explorer and we leave to take our kids to school at the same time.

I try to get out the door and driveway ahead of them because they are the slowest drivers in the world. I swear they must think their precious new Exploder really will explode if it goes over 25. Even on the main road. It’s odd.