July – December 2018
Ever since watching the 1st season of Roadkill, which included a Ranchero roadtrip and an El Camino engine swap, I’ve been captivated by utes and rusty muscle cars. After finishing college I finally had the time and money to dive into a car project.
El Camino’s 305 cubic inch V8 produced only 150 horsepower in 1984, still enough to do pegleg burnouts, but a far cry from an actual muscle car. Aftermarket support of the small block Chevy engine and the 5th gen (G-body) Elco is extensive so I figured this would be a decent starting platform to learn on. Any patina this rusty car once had was covered by layers of Bondo and blue paint, hideous blue paint. Right after painting, the seller left his car outside in the trailer park, where it got rained on. The entire body had a scaly texture that was visible from at least 20 feet away. The giant eyesore of a paintjob is how I bought a running and driving ute for $2200. Little did I know how many hours would be spent on paint prep and body work…
Despite a spongy brake pedal, I had a pretty uneventful 70-mile voyage home in my new hooptie. Note that the license plate is on the tailgate instead of the rear bumper. Hypothetically, this makes it easy to drive around without up-to-date registration stickers or without tags altogether. Hypothetically, this will also render toll road cameras, redlight cameras, and schoolzone cameras powerless! Now I would never exploit this design quirk, but it's almost like the mullet of cars encourages degenerate behavior.
Look closely and you’ll notice that the rear tires are larger than the fronts. They also have all-terrain tread. This was the previous owner’s winter beater! Luckily road salt hasn’t damaged the frame, but there is a football sized hole in the driver’s side floor.
The dash had several big cracks, the seat was torn on the driver’s side, and the Dollar Tree-looking aftermarket radio didn’t work, but in general the interior was functional and comfy to sit in. It’s truly a couch on wheels, complete with a Malaise era staple, one-finger steering.
There was a bonus ice scraper on the dash when I bought the Elco! After baking in the hot July sun it was deformed to the point of being useless.
Another goody I found inside the cab was can of Aircraft Remover, which made quick work of the paint covering the bumpers. Usually I’m not bothered at all if automotive chemicals get on my skin. Brakleen, coolant, brake fluid, carb cleaner, even Jasco “premium” paint stripper are all weak sauce compared to Aircraft Remover. This really stuff burns, enough to make me stop wearing flip flops around it, but the name cracks me up. I always picture soldiers spraying it into the sky to take out enemy bombers and now you do too!
Most of this first summer and fall with the Elco was spent just cruising around quiet Pennsyltucky roads, occasionally with a friend or two in the back. Rear passengers, including yours truly, were more than happy to overlook that the Elco was slow and ugly due to the laidback open-air experience.
A couple mechanical issues were addressed in 2018. I replaced the power steering pulley because it was bent and wobbling. The car would shudder when braking hard or at highway speeds due to warped rotors. A new set of front rotors and pads fixed this problem. While things were apart, I regreased the original wheel bearings since they were still in good shape. The rear brakes are drums and to this day I haven’t had to mess with those.
To close out the year I installed a reproduction grill and headlight bezels. They’re fake chrome because 80s car, but they still do so much to improve how the front of the ute looks.
On small block Chevys the distributor hold-down bolt is in an inconvenient location and this one hadn’t been loosened in many years, if ever. Pictured below is the combination of tools that helped me finally remove it. The replacement distributor is an ordinary HEI that I got for free from a Mopar guy who didn’t need it. I gave the free HEI distributor a good cleaning, replaced the rotor, pickup coil and ignition module, and confirmed that the vacuum advance canister held pressure. This was just slightly cheaper than buying a remanufactured distributor, but was still cool to see how everything inside works.
I continued my crusade against all smog-era equipment, targeting the catalytic converter while the remanufactured late 70s Quadrajet was in transit from eBay. Two-way cats were known to be restrictive and mine was causing an especially large flow restriction! The box of broken substrate also contains one end of a heater tube. The other end of the tube connected to the passenger side exhaust manifold. Somehow this was supposed to heat up the catalyst faster to reduce emissions during cold starts.
Speaking of heating things up, the HVAC blower motor stopped working on every setting except the highest. First, I tried cleaning the blower motor switch with fine sandpaper and electronics cleaner then I applied some dielectric grease, but that didn’t solve the problem. 
I consulted YouTube for advice and was directed towards the blower resistor, which was in good condition, unlike the electrical connector attached to it. After soldering in a new connector the blower motor worked on all speeds again. 
On to the next failing part: the starter motor gear was grinding against the teeth of the flexplate after startup due to the Bendix unit not springing back very well. While replacing the old starter I noticed rust covering the entire bottom side of it. I’m not sure if the corrosion was caused by road salt or a fluid (perhaps coolant), but either way the new starter doesn’t have any corrosion yet and at the time the only leak I could see was from the oil pan gasket. 
…next I created out a patch panel from scrap metal I had laying around…
…then I welded the patch panel onto the car body.
After that I used my grinder and a flapper disc to get the weld beads level with the panel. 
Finally, I applied a couple layers of Bondo to fill any imperfections in the surface. 
In conclusion, my skills are second to none because I am an expert 
I even painted the hood hinges because of extreme boredom. 
The underside of the hood had some intricate portions that were difficult, but I persisted and achieved Victory! 
The top of the hood already had a lot of body filler from a major dent repair, more evidence of the Elco’s checkered past I guess. 
Installing a big, heavy hood by yourself can be challenging. If you’re doing this alone, a jackstand strategically placed under the front is super helpful for holding the hood in place while you’re reinstalling the hood hinges. I also used some foam mats to protect the windshield in case things really went south. 
After summer sanding round 2, and all the 2020 nonsense, I was ready for a relaxing vacation. Speaking of going south, my friends and I decided that the Outer Banks was a great place to avoid large crowds and chill out. Since it was mechanically and aesthetically sound, I took the Elco on its longest journey yet; from Pennsyltucky down to Newport News, Virginia. The car did great during the 5-hour cruise to my friends’ house and I stopped at the halfway point for a “picnic”! Java Monster and a Sheetz burger is the lunch of champions. 
The whole squad arrived at the rendezvous point, but a wrench was thrown into our plans. Due to a hurricane pasting close to the coast, a crapload of sand made the only road into the Outer Banks impassable so we waited…and waited…and waited for the road to open. 
For 4 straight days our routine consisted of consuming copious amounts of carbohydrates to recover from the night before, packing tons of food and drink into 2 Suburbans (the news said OBX grocery stores were empty due to the road closure), getting salty when the news said the road is actually still closed, unpacking the Suburbans, cruising around Newport News in a Miata, Toyota mini-truck, and my hooptie ute, followed by day-drinking, cornhole, and Magic the Gathering. Not the vacation I planned for, but a great vacation nonetheless. 
The mountains of sand were eventually moved and we got to spend a couple days at the Taj Mahatteras. Everyone agreed that this part of beach week felt like a fever dream: we had inflate-a-couch on the beach, a sand dune in our swimming pool, and a McMansion of a house that included a sauna, hot tub, and a broken home theater. Just as we were getting used to these extravagant surroundings it was time to pack up and return to reality. 
Despite the brief Outer Banks time, my spirits were high as I headed back home towards the paint shop! 
Hey wait, why the hell it is gray?!?! I asked for a purple-ish blue color, and thankfully had the paperwork to prove it. Somehow Maaco mixed up cars and also forgot to paint the underside of the hood. The franchise owner agreed to fix their mistakes at no cost to me, but the wait time to do this was ridiculous. This debacle was finally resolved, just as winter rolled in. I can’t remember the exact Maaco name for this color (Magnetic Pearl? Majestic Pearl? Electric Pearl?). Anyway, it’s single-stage urethane paint that has held up well. To be honest, I’m a little disappointed in myself for missing low spots, which are visible at some angles, but I’m generally happy with the overall results. The color choice is very flamboyant and gaudy so I think it fits the character of the ute. 
