Wife took him to work to check out a lump that I knew about for months but I thought it was the same one they looked months ago (oops)
Lump is just fatty tissue and everything is fine but she did blood work and apparently he's a fatty

Best posts made by Alfalfa
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This fat fuck has high cholesterol
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I went for a ride, then I went to a hospital
Those 2 things are not related though.
Got some turkey stuck in my throat, I could breath fine but couldn't swallow. I got to have a camera stuck down my throat. This is something my wife sees a lot of at work with dogs.
Anyways I'm fine now and watching Die Hard. -
How To Buy A Royal Enfield
In May of 2021, I headed to my local Royal Enfield dealership to check out a Himalayan. I wasn't expecting much, but I'm a sucker for retro bikes and it seemed like it could be what I was looking for. I was pleasantly surprised by how comfortable and smooth it was for a $5000 thumper. More details on why I chose it later. I asked what I would be looking at OTD and the salesman gave me a ballpark off the top of his head.
A week or so later I decide I want one after a bit more thinking and test riding. I text the salesman I worked with and asked for OTD price and he gives me an estimate again. I reply that I want to know the actual numbers as I'm planning to pay in cash.
I get ghosted.
I wait a day or two and call the dealership, and get to someone who actually finds the info I need. Excellent. They also inform me they've sold all the floor models but have more still crated, and I put a deposit down on one. I'm relieved to at least have gotten that much done and hang up.
A day or so later a few things occur to me:
I do not remember the name of the salesperson I spoke to on the phone. They told me their name, it was a different name from the one who ghosted me and that was good enough.
I never got a timeframe on when this thing was supposed to be unboxed and assembled.
I never got an email confirmation of my deposit.Meanwhile, salesman 1 actually texts me back!
I wait another day or so, then drive to the dealership to make sure I get all this shit sorted out. The most helpful person I've ever worked with at this dealership by far looks up my deposit and confirms that it does in fact exist. He also finds out who is actually selling me the bike and gives me their card. He also informs me however, that it's waaaay down the list due to no less than 50 SXS that need to be prepped for people who have been waiting 6 months for delivery. They may get to it in a week, but it's hard to say for sure. Oh joy.About 2 weeks later, still with no updates on how they're coming along, I give them another call. I'm told they've just started on it and I should have it at the week's end. I confirm with my sales guy that I'll be picking it up Friday and that it will be good to go.
Fast forward to Thursday afternoon, he calls to tell me that there's a broken brake cable and they don't have a replacement on hand. It will be another week. I start looking at other bikes at this point. Really had my heart set on a Himalayan but start shopping my runner up, a used CB500x. I find one in good condition with tkc80s and a nice top box with a set of road tires included for what I'd pay for the Royal pain-in-the-ass Enfield. I arrange to look at it, grab a wad of cash from my credit union, and am about to make the trek to Salt Lake to potentially buy a motorcycle when the guy texts me back, confirming that it is ready and I can get it tomorrow. Cool. I let the Honda man know I'm not coming.
I show up in the morning and am told it's ready. I start on paperwork. They have a promo going where you get a gas card and your first service free. That's nice, kinda helps me be less angry at the situation. Finance guy says he hasn't gotten the email with necessary info for it yet, though. I'll save the suspense on this one and tell you, I never got that promo.
The salesman comes up to me after I've finished the paperwork, he looks a little sheepish, and tells me that they have a CEL and are trying to figure it out. I wait around a bit. They still can't get it taken care of easily. He gives me the option of taking it and seeing if it clears itself, if not they'll take care of it when I bring it in for break-in service (as if I'll trust them to do that at this point). I tell them I'll just take it.
I ride away, hoping I won't need a warranty claim and can avoid going back ever again. End of the story?
Well not quite.
2 months later I'm still running temp tags.
I thought this said August 21st but it turns out it actually said August 8th, they folded in the month rather than the year. I text the man and get no response. I call again, they check, yes they have my plates. Back at the dealership getting my plates, I ask how long they've had them and if someone was supposed to let me know. I'm told they got them in pretty recently and they had some sort of bookkeeping issues delaying a lot of people's registration stuff. Fantastic. So that's the sales staff, the service staff, and the accountants that can't do their job? Fuck all of these people.I've worked in sales and customer service before, I understand that shit happens. But there's only so much shit that can just happen. Not to mention the absolutely horrid communication throughout the entire ordeal.
Oh well. It's mine now.tl;dr I fucked your mom and she gave me money for a motorcycle
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2002 Nissan Xterra: The Review
Everything you
want to know
don't want to know
Everything I'm telling you
about a 2002 Nissan Xterra. Old enough to smoke, but not old enough to drink.
Handling: the steering wheel turns. What more do you want? It's got rack and pinion so it feels kinda like your grandpa's shitty truck he taught you stick in while spitting tobacco in your Dr. Pepper bottle.
Power: What do you need power for? Racing your buddy's fartcan civic down State Street at 2 am? Of course not, you have no friends. But it is a V6 Nissan with a broken exhaust so I suppose it is suitable for the task. Will also pull your shit.
Transmission: Manual, as God intended or something. I'm told it makes me better than you. Also something about theft deterrent? It makes my kid wonder why dad's car has more levers than mom's but still won't tell you what song is playing on the radio.
Suspension: We've got leaf springs in the back, we're not bourgeoisie bastards. Also IFS, because these days you also need to be bougie to afford anything with 2 solid axles.
EvenEspecially if it's a rotted to hell XJ
Fuel economy: Lol
Audio: We've already discussed this briefly, there's a radio that won't tell you what song is playing. Also one of those radio transmitter audio adapters for blasting sick tunes from your Huawei. A CD player I think? All my CDs burned up a few years back so idgaf.
Paint: Yellow is the common superior Xterra color. Orange is real cool shit but rare. Green is the next best choice. Some clear coat is missing.
Wheels/tires: 4 spokes. Too many spokes is also too rich for my blood. Mounted to these 4 spokes are the famous (-ly expensive) BF Goodrich K02's. This is apparently where all my budget went. I've been told AT tires don't feel great on freeways but my standards are so low that I think they're fine.
Rust: It's a 20 year old Nissan in a salt state, so yes.
Doggo approved: I think so.
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Taking an actual step on something I've been thinking about for a decade
Taking a motorcycle safety course next month. Not sure exactly what I'll be getting yet. -
Bought a thing
Something european and high maintenance. Because life was too boring with 2 Japanese cars. 2015 KTM Duke 390
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Who you callin' chicken!?
Got some new gear (do we still consider this gear when it serves no practical purpose?) and had to take a neighborhood ride to test it out. It was well-received by kids and adults alike. -
They were asking for it
I mean why else would the clear the snow right there? They want you to take a picture. No other plausible reason. -
What did I buy with less than 6 miles on the clock?
Just some old indian thing
Latest posts made by Alfalfa
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RE: there's gold on the ceiling
@farscythe I have tickets to see them July, I'm super stoked.
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RE: The Best of OPPO @ the Hyphen, Round 11
@davesaddiction glad to see that my reviews that are borderline shit posts made the cut.
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RE: Did you know Utah has a car manufacture?
@HammerheadFistpunch you didn't know this? I actually saw one on the road a few weeks ago in Huntsville of all places.
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RE: Does the world need SUVs?
@Gabriella what do we need? Do we need motorsports? Do we need cookies? Motorcycles? Dogs? Self-sealing stem bolts?
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RE: Should this be a thing in schools everywhere?
@SAAB_9-3_SportCombi I remember when I used to care about these things. Then I realized it just wasn't worth the energy.
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RE: It's a dirt day
@bbg2d yeah it's got sufficient torque for this kind of thing. The Himi has a limited use case but it does well within that use case
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RE: It's a dirt day
@ClassicDatsunDebate ergo wise, I think so. I've seen some taller people who enjoy them, however the bigger you are the more noticeable the lack of power would likely be.
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It's a dirt day
First off-road escapade of the year. A little bit cold, I stopped at a park near the trailhead for a bit to wait for it to warm up
At 10 am I decided to go for it, the sun came out from behind a cloud just as I set out. Good omen?
Road was a little damp in some places, not too bad and more interesting than this route typically is. It doesn't take much for Utah dirt to get slippery. I got some MX boots for this year and was able to properly break them in.
Was gonna go for Alpinestars Tech 3 but they were sold out pretty much everywhere, these Moose Racing boots were the same price and I have a pair of their gloves which I like.