I Just Have to Remind Myself
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Warning: Mild coronavirus-related talks. I absolutely hate when people mention “oh, social distancing,” whatever, so this is the warning if that type of stuff bothers you, too.
It’s been almost ten months since I graduated from college. I’ve been thinking about the other people I went to school with and what they’re doing now.
Some people I went to school with have awesome jobs, good social lives, and all of this in an out-of-state environment. This sometimes makes me feel bad. I could’ve branched out to another place, rented a nice apartment or house, and taken pride in having my own place.
At the same time, I live in a big metro area, I can live rent and other-payment-free with my parents, I’ve been slowly developing more of a social life around here, and I can go basically everywhere without the mask police on my case. Besides, I decided to do something pretty cool with my money instead.
And I have NO REGRETS.
21K+ and nine months.
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If you're happy with where you're at, that's what matters. Doesn't matter what the people you went to school with are up to, they're not you.
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@trumpybear I've yet to meet anyone older then 30 who actually cares that I live with family, most find it prudent.. While a sacrifice of perceived independence and a hit to ego, there is a fairly high dollar value saved by just dealing with it. Increasing net income by 20- 40% is a strong argument imo
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As @sony1492 said, that extra income is powerful stuff. If you have a good relationship with your family and can use the time they're giving you to get set up for your future... Why not?
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@mm54 Exactly. I know I’d be miserable if I tried to branch out. There’s like eight million people around here. I can find some more people haha.
Also, it never occurred to me to look at jobs out of state. My life is too tied to this area. Even in school, I’d be back here all the time. This is my place.
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@aestheticsinmotion Moving out is more of a personal goal, but I did just do some room decorating during my “funderemployment.” I think it’d be nice to be out soon, but I know there are plenty of my other college peers, some extremely social, still living at home. It’s not a bad thing. I’ve saved a ton of money, and that’s even with a good chunk of my current income going to car stuff.
Heck, I may even stay home until 2023 (when the car is paid off). Don’t tell Mom!
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@trumpybear
Remember when socially distant just meant you were antisocial?
Pepperidge Farm remembers.Anyway, you’re not living with your parents to stave off confronting life. You’re marshaling your resources. You’re in good shape. Now, just stay away from Mrs. Robinson.
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@trumpybear I'll never forget the day, two months after college graduation, when I came home to my parents house where I was living and my father explained what growing up meant.
I moved into my sister's place the next day.
Leave your parents house. Get some roommates. Blow some cash on an apartment. Figure out what works for you, independently. Living with your folks until you are 30 is a crutch and isn't helping with anything.
And since you brought it up, wear a mask. It's not hard.
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So, your big "I'm gonna graduate college and go move back into my room and stare at my old t-ball trophies and live bill free with mommy and daddy" purchase is a base model VW Golf?
Okay?
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@trumpybear said in I Just Have to Remind Myself:
@mm54 Exactly. I know I’d be miserable if I tried to branch out. There’s like eight million people around here. I can find some more people haha.
Also, it never occurred to me to look at jobs out of state. My life is too tied to this area. Even in school, I’d be back here all the time. This is my place.
There's a lot to be said about moving away for a while. I left for college at 18, went back for the following summer, then never returned. Since then, I've lived in four states, three of them with my wife and kids. Now we are planning where our next home will be. We don't plan to be those parents who follow their kids and we don't expect to remain in the area where our kids spent most of their formative years. While I still have to work, COVID has created an opportunity to work remotely, so we have options. We are thinking about the things we want to have access to (a university, a small airport, a lake, etc.) and are looking at our options.
The thing I'm trying to say is that you have options and when you are young is the time to explore them. Wait too long and you'll settle down for good. There's a big world out there. Do some exploring!
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yea man, do you. I grew up in (and still live in) where its REAL expensive and all my friends lived with their parents for a while. I spent my first big boy checks on swapping big dumb axles in my old stupid jeep while living in my parent's basement.
dont let anyone tell you you're doing it wrong. have a house and a kid now and while I wouldnt trade it for anything I do get a little sad when my neighbor's 20 something kid is ripping his 50 up and down the block after snows while I shovel.
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yah, as others said, do what works best for you...don't measure yourself against others.
I lived at home for about 18 months after graduating just because "why not"? I was lucky enough to have a fairly decent first job. Good relationship with my parents, my dad traveled for work a lot so it was helpful for my mom. My brother lived 6 hours away so I generally had a large house all to myself or mostly to myself. A place to park my cars and somebody who cooked and did my laundry
I never chipped in from a $$ perspective, but I was sure the yard was maintained, always washed my parents cars when I washed mine, and took care of oil changes and such. I put those $$ savings right into my first home downpayment soon after.All that being said, I will echo the advice of now being the chance to go check out a new city (or new climate). You can probably fit everything you own in a car or van, so you're mobile without the burden of selling a house and getting professional movers. Go live by the beach for a year just for fun.
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@earlyapexer You think I’m talented enough for t-ball? That’s a compliment!
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Having your own place really only matters if you can check off a bunch of boxes:
- Am I going to stay here a while?
- Do I need to rent/buy because of a relationship?
- Do I like my job?
- Do I like my city?
If you answer no to any of them, you're probably better off just staying at home and accumulating that sweet sweet dosh. Of course relationship needs supersede all else. Once you've figured out what you really want to get out of life, then you have the flexibility to just jump in and do it.
Everyone's needs are different, and require different amounts of money to make happen. For instance, I'm happy with a solid computer, my car, and a small place to put each of them. My wife wants to demo every room in our house to be nicely updated/furnished. One of these costs a lot more money than the other.
