Best of Luck, You Mutts

[mikespin]

What’s round on both ends and has peepee in the middle? Yes, you, Oppo. And you’ve finally gotten what’s coming to you, you friggin’ mutts. Ah c’mon, you know I love you. Oh go screw, ya pricks, ya. O wait, you’re still here? Heh heh. Sorry. You rock.

Hi, I’m Mike Spinelli. I started Jalopnik back in 2004 because I had no other prospects. I wrote stream-of-consciousness blogs about cars, and somehow that became a real media property. I didn’t profit off of it at all. I was poorly paid and what “stock options” I had in the original Gawker company have folded into Nick Hogan’s porn startup or whatever, but I’ve been dining out on having started Jalopnik for 16 years, so it’s been a net gain.

But we're here about Oppo. You guys have been through a lot. You started out as Jalopnik’s right arm and burrowed your way in, becoming more like a spleen or gall bladder. By that I mean you’re probably important but no one knows what you do. You’re filled with gross things like pus or bile, as the case may be, but the host would die without you, or maybe it wouldn’t. Heh heh. Is that funny? I haven’t known what’s funny since 2006.

No, really. You guys are important. You helped find Torchinsky’s Beetle, you made copyright infringement a content strategy, you fought a land war in Asia. What the hell do I know what you did? Whatever it is, I’ll always love you, at least until I don’t, because I’m a withholding sonofabitch who doesn't know how to love.

But It's not about me. Oppo has always been like the “kids in the hall” for Jalopnik. I guess sort of like the “I’m Crushing Your Head” Canadian “Kids In The Hall,” but more like the New York "kids in the hall" like Mel Brooks and Woody Allen who fed one-liners to the senior writing staff of Sid Caesar’s “Your Show of Shows” back in the '50s, hoping to win entrance to the “big room” where the full-time writer big shots hung out.

Just like those guys, many notable Oppos found entrance into Jalopnik’s big room. Among them, Mark Twain, Sheriff Lawrence Hodge (no relation) and a second grader we all came to know as Aaron Brown.

Wait, is this a roast? It’s not? Shit. Sorry. You guys are great. I hope this new Oppo becomes as lousy with dangling modifiers and copyright infringement as the old Kinja Oppo was. By that I mean, best of luck. We’re all counting on you.

[MasterMario]

"you made copyright infringement a content strategy"

Yup, that pretty much summarizes oppo. lol

[trivet]

@mikespin said in Best of Luck, You Mutts:

We’re all counting on you.

[davesaddiction]

@mikespin YOOO - thanks for checking in.

I was the guy that kept telling you to get a haircut all those years; glad it finally sunk in.

Hope to see you around.

[Vondon302]

@mikespin Ha. One of my last posts on Oppo was a kids in the hall sketch.

[Bloody-the-resident-LandRover-apologist]

@mikespin thanks! With any luck maybe one day in the distant future we can rescue Jalopnik from the herb.

[mikespin]

@davesaddiction I knew it! My barber, Speedy, thanks you. (RIP Astor Place Hairstylists.)

[Exage03040]

Well wouldn't you know? I sat on a pin during The Drive this morning!

[mikespin]

@exage03040 Serves you right!

[phenotyp]

@mikespin Hoooooooleeeeee shit! Man, I was with you jamokes from the start. You, Loverman, and Davey spoke to me in a way that no one else knew how to, or was brave, or foolish enough to. Plus you drove an MR2 Spyder, like me.

Fuckin A. Nice to hear from you.

[WhoIsTheLeader]

We've always been this. Thank you. I don't think Jalopnik's entirely rid of us yet. The vast majority of us won't get writing gigs as a big shot full time journalist but this sort of journalism lite sure is fun.

[Arch Duke Maxyenko]

There's the response! Thanks, Mike!

[Bandit]

Am I suppose to respect the authority of a person Google calls Mike Spinelli - Film Actor? Thanks for checking in and ensuring The Drive has good content. I expect your hair to fully grow back out by your next post.

[Thomas Donohue]

What's next, a DeMuro check-in? All the quirks and features of 'The Hyphen'...

[mikespin]

@bandit Whoa. That's weird. Google must know something I don't about that lost weekend back in '03.

[Chariotoflove]

I LOL’d reading that. Thanks for stopping by to christen/sendoff/lift your leg on our new ship Oppo.

[Jb boin]

Indeed !

Slight off-topic : It would be interesting if there is a way to embed TheDrive articles in here.

[The Crazy Kanuck]

Are you really Mike Spinelli if you don't have long hair, or are you Mike Spinellis clone that has short hair?

[RallyDarkstrike]

That was EXCELLENT, nice to see you here @mikespin - we wouldn't be here without you fools!

[Stef Schrader]

@davesaddiction said in Best of Luck, You Mutts:

@mikespin YOOO - thanks for checking in.

I was the guy that kept telling you to get a haircut all those years; glad it finally sunk in.

Hope to see you around.

so this is YOUR fault

[The Crazy Kanuck]

@stef-schrader said in Best of Luck, You Mutts:

@davesaddiction said in Best of Luck, You Mutts:

@mikespin YOOO - thanks for checking in.

I was the guy that kept telling you to get a haircut all those years; glad it finally sunk in.

Hope to see you around.

so this is YOUR fault

F in the chat.

[mikespin]

@the-crazy-kanuck Or am I @Spinellis_Hair and this is all just a simulation?