Christmas Car Commercials are BULLSHIT! Here's why I know

[rctothefuture]

You know what I'm talking about, those happy assholes who buy their significant other a car and it's like "Oh how sweet!"

Yeah, surprise motherfucker. Here's a $60,000 vehicle we hid from you and never once talked about the financial impact it'll have on this family. Should have just bought Dad a ticket on a 5 day Carnival cruise with free drinks and he would have been happy to drive around his 08 Ford Fusion SEL! Anyway...

I bring this up, as I made a mistake. See, I posted last week that my wife and I are selling her Renegade so we can clear some debt and she can drive my 4Runner. She drove the 4Runner and complained about the seating position, as she'd like more head room. So after some discussion here and on the Discord, I went and tried to find a mechanically sound GMT800 style truck/suv for her.

That night I found it, a $1500 Silverado in BRG. It had a new front diff, 86k mile junkyard drivetrain swapped in, clean frame and a cap. Only issue? Tires are a little old and there's a nice exhaust leak right under the cab. No matter, a $1500 4WD Silverado with that kind of work would be perfect! So I drove 1.5 hours up north, in the wee morning of a Saturday, to test drive it. After finding the steering a little loose (and a lot more body rust), I offered $1200 which the seller took. I left my Mini at a gas station and brought this bad boy home.

My wife awoke to the Silverado in the driveway.

On the way home, I had thought about getting a bow to put on the hood. Maybe I'd get her a card and park the car at her parents, putting the keys in the card with a small treasure hunt. All these wild ideas like I saw in those car Christmas commercials... Instead I just drove it home from joy and excitement of gifting someone a car!

My wife came out and was smiling, albeit confused. She didn't know where I had went, I had only sent her a text I had to go shopping for a deal REALLY early. She assumed I bought an Xbox One X or something, not a whole vehicle. I got out and raised my hands like Will Smith and said

"Look babe, I bought you a truck!"

Her initial reaction was happiness, after all I had surprised her with something she said she wanted. She walked over to the vehicle and her smile slowly turned to a look of confusion and concern. She stared at the rust holes, "Can you fix that or...?".

I waved it off and said "Don't worry, it's got a newer drive train, new front diff, a ton of care and pride has been done to this!".

She inspected the bed, nice and clean but a little concerned about how the interior looked. I hadn't thought to look at it closer, coffee stains and dirt had built up on the transmission tunnel. It was rightly disgusting and her reaction matched.

"No matter, I'll steam clean that out in a jiffy! Let's take it for a ride!"

She hopped into the cab and turned the key. The exhaust leak bellowed out the noises of half a 350 Chevy V8. My wife looked at me with the expression of someone who isn't sure if they are being pranked or not. She pulled out of the driveway and down the road for a quick test drive. After 5 minutes, she came back and said "It's loud, the seat doesn't go back far enough. How much did you pay for it?". I could tell this wasn't going to end well.

I hopped in and explained it was not a show truck, but it would be dead nuts reliable. I'll fix the exhaust, I'll clean the interior, I'll make her a real looker! My wife said "Can we drive the 4Runner again, I want to see which one I like better." So we spent the day running around town in the Toyota. She got the seat, the wheel and the mirrors where she liked it. She had the heat on, music playing and she said "How mad would you be if I decided to drive the 4Runner instead?"

So yeah, don't buy your significant other a vehicle as a gift. Don't surprise them with something they think they know they want. It'll cost you, dearly.

Note: If anyone Opponaut is looking for a rusty, but very trusty, 96 Silverado with a bunch of new parts, I'll cut you a deal.

[WhoIsTheLeader]

It is one of those ideas that sounds good in your head and in reality isn't so great. I would be quite cross if someone bought me a car without consulting me for sure but for people who care less about cars it might be less of a good deal. But that large of a purchase should probably always be talked over with a spouse. I hope things work out for you. At that price you could probably flip it and still break even.

[Tripper]

The instagram tag reads "Daddy keeps baby happy" *pictured - a base model, leased, crossover

[Chariotoflove]

I'm really sorry it didn't go as planned, but I know she appreciates the effort you put in.

But before you get rid of it, can you get someone with a video camera to produce your own "December to remember" spoof ad? One where her face drops when she sees it? This is a rare opportunity to make some serious lemonade here.

[CarsOfFortLangley]

I almost want to buy this so I can replicate the same thing this Christmas on MY wife.

[rctothefuture]

@chariotoflove genius idea, actually. Don't know where I'm gonna find a giant bow outside of a Carmax, but I'll see if the misses is willing to get on camera!

[rctothefuture]

@carsoffortlangley hey, you can buy it from me and flip it for the same price. A $0 Christmas prank is the best kind of gift!

[CarsOfFortLangley]

hahaha. I probably shouldn't. Plus, judging by the rust, you're probably a decent distance from Vancouver!

[Chariotoflove]

@rctothefuture said in Christmas Car Commercials are BULLSHIT! Here's why I know:

@chariotoflove genius idea, actually. Don't know where I'm gonna find a giant bow outside of a Carmax, but I'll see if the misses is willing to get on camera!

I actually think a cheap plastic drug store red one might be a nice touch anyway.

[rctothefuture]

@carsoffortlangley Don't tempt me with a 31 hour drive!

[zipfuel]

@rctothefuture
Ask and ye shall receive, of course the bow is like 5% of your purchase price!
Giant bow on AliExpress

[rctothefuture]

@zipfuel ooof. I think I'll just spring for a pack of dollar tree bows.