Shared Failure Guilt?

[rctothefuture]

One of my good friends came over last night to do a repair on his wife's Honda Civic last night. We did the brakes together in November to ensure that his wife could safely get to work. She had no pad left on the passenger side and barely on the driver. After swapping pads and rotors, I was putting the lugnuts back on the drivers side and went to torque it to spec.

SNAP!

Off came the lug nut and stud in my hand. Well crap. We went to Advance, got a new stud and lug nut (nut was a 21, not a 19 like the others which was weird) and took everything apart to put it back together again.

Yesterday he stopped over as another lug stud on the driver side snapped as he was doing a tire rotaiton. We repalced all the remaining studs so he was good to go. After a job well done, a few beers and conversation he left to get home. Half hour later I got a phone call.

"Hey, I'm on the side of the road. The car won't move and the front is making an awful clicking noise. Can you come give me a hand?"

Ah fuck, what did I do now? Well, I drove out and it was bad news. Passenger side axle CV snapped on him going up a hill. He was DOA. Called a tow truck and he dropped it at home. He's now looking for a replacement car.

Needless to say Oppo, I feel awful for him. He's been jobless for the past 6 months and this is another kick in the nuts. I didn't touch the passenger side, and hell it looked OK when we did the work on it awhile ago. He understands, but I just wanted to shout out "I'll fix all of it for you!" as if I am guilty of a passenger CV going.

Does anyone else have repair and failure guilt for someone's car after they've worked on it? I've worked in the dealership world so I'm used to "You changed my oil and now exhaust fell off" type folks. But with friends and family, I always feel like I have to do something if I ever touched anything on their car, even a light bulb.

I'm crazy, right?

[jminer]

@rctothefuture As the only competently handy person in my family I was the first call for the longest time when anything went wrong.

My attitudes have shifted recently though and instead of jumping to when a sense of obligation hit I now help people that I feel like need it. Sometimes it’s to teach someone that wants to learn or someone that needs the help.

[AkioOhtori]

@rctothefuture One of the reasons I almost never help out with other people cars. I've gone further lately where I don't offer unsolicited advice anymore.

[derp]

Legitimate question, are you confusing guilt with empathy? That could be why you feel obligated to step in.

Sounds to me like you just care about your friends and hurt with them when they're down.

[barnie]

@derpwagon Glad I ain't got none of that there empathy. I'd loose the enjoyment of laughing at my friends' misfortune before getting dirty and helping him fix it.

[Zaphod's Heart of Gold]

Luckily I seem to only cause my own issues an no one else's.

[rctothefuture]

@derpwagon very well could be, I just don't feel empathy towards anyone else's failure, just ones involving vehicles I've worked on. Like I've done something wrong by working on it, even if the failure has nothing to do with what I did.

But it very well could be empathy.

[A Former User]

@rctothefuture
A few years ago I cleaned a colleagues Renault Megane hardtop convertible.
I cleaned and washed the exterior, lowered the hardtop roof, everything going fine, went to raise it again, the roof only came back up a third of the way and stopped.
I was shitting bricks thinking what happened, had I done something, had I not done something.
Car wouldn't start up at all.
Went through the car manual, and manually put the roof back in position.
Decided to call it a day.
The mechanic said there was water in the electrics. I don't know how as I'd not even opened the bonnet or had the water at any sort of pressure near it other than when doing the wheel arches.
Apparently it took three days in her father's garage to dry out. I told her whatever it takes I'll pay for it, until a week or so after the fact was told her car had many electrical issues due to lack of maintenance and just replacing things when broken and had even had to have her car towed home from work not a week before I went to clean it.
She's asked me to do her current car a few times and I just say I'm busy.
So while I'm almost 100% sure it wasn't me or anything I did, I'm still wary about doing certain things.

Now, even though I never went near her engine, I never use water in the engine bay, just AutoBrite Jaffa Clean degreaser and protectant and a load of brushes and cloths.

[RacinBob]

Did you lube the studs? That may be why the studs are breaking, I have read that torque specs are for dry studs. And if you lube the thread and seat, you will not achieve enough friction to achieve desired torque.

I have seen this first hand on a race weekend where the mechanic torqued and torqued a set of integra studs until one broke and several were stretched before I stopped him.

I do not lube studs or seats for that reason. Or if I do, I use it only on the threads and then use it sparingly.

My opinion is studs failed because they were well lubricated and started stretching before torque was achieved. Or because the torque setting or wrench calibration was wrong. Whatever, it was not due to the stud being bad,.

As for the Axle, axles are cheap to replace (at least cheaper than a good reliable car). I would counsel find a way to replace them and keep the car he has rather than replacing it with another cheap car and another set of problems, ,,,,

Links to this topic

https://www.eng-tips.com/viewthread.cfm?qid=446453

https://bobistheoilguy.com/forums/threads/lug-nut-and-wheel-lubrication.262054/

[CivicWagonEngineer]

@racinbob Could be from lube, or it could be from tire/repair shops impact wrenching the shit out of lugs when putting wheels back on and stretching the studs. Seen and heard of that happening plenty of times

[RacinBob]

@civicwagonengineer Possible.

[beefchips]

@rctothefuture My wife and I recently sold a house to a friend-of-a-friend. The buyer texted our mutual friend last week asking for help with the neighbors who were being loud all night and threatened to "fuck him up" if he "came at them" again about noise. I do feel kind of bad about that. But to be fair that didn't happen to us at any time in the 8 years we lived there.

[sony1492]

@rctothefuture its the worst feeling, repairs are never as simple as they're supposed to be. Something goes wrong, be it a stripped bolt, or a part breaks trying to access the repair.

On the 280z Refresh I did a few months back, a bubble has formed under the paint along the fender, its from the bodywork cracking as people lean over the engine bay and flex the panel. The panel had been weaked from surface rust and they were never particularly thick, so it bends quite a bit. Along with that there is minor rust forming at edges of some seams because the owner has left the car in the element literally .25 miles from the ocean and not driving it. This is party my fault and I've said ill fix the problems if the owner brings the car back but surely there is something to be said about maintaining an older car that we know hasn't been thoughly rust repaired.

[rctothefuture]

@racinbob Sadly we did not, it was age and they were stretched. His wife took it to the local Valvoline for tire rotations, so I assume they just gunned them on and it took it's toll over time.

We would replace the axle but it's got close to 200k miles, the front bumper cover is cracked all over and the suspension is needing a full refresh as well. At this point, putting money into it would be a bad idea for them (and myself, as I'd be doing all the work). The good news is they just paid off his car, so they have the freedom to get a new car payment and once he's back on his feet, they'll be fine.

@svend that is so strange! No water at all? I remember washing my Fiero one time and it didn't start. Come to find out I got water in the dizzy cap (didn't know you had to cover it) and that was a fun experience learning how to dry it out. I'd stay away from that friend as well

[Taylor Martin]

@rctothefuture I barely trust myself to fix things, though I managed a couple of Italian tune-ups on people's cars. Nothing has gone wrong yet, but before I get into it I make it very clear I'm no expert and that, if something goes wrong, it's their fault for trusting me.

[A Former User]

@rctothefuture
No. I use the degreaser, agitate with brushes, wipe with microfibres and dress with 303 Aerospace.

[rctothefuture]

@svend very nice! I haven't invested in a good kit of cleaning supplies yet. I usually farm it out to a local detail guy my sister used to date. Always keeps me looking good, but I would like to learn how to do it myself.

[onlytwowheels]

When I was in my late teens, I did a tune up on a 1966 Dodge Dart that belonged to a gal I liked and also worked with. After doing the tune up, I took the car for a quick test drive. I hit a pothole with the right front, and torsion bar broke through the crossmember. I felt like crap....

[DipodomysDeserti]

@rctothefuture He’s getting a whole new car because of a snapped axle? Make sure he doesn’t replace it with a Jeep!

[rctothefuture]

@dipodomysdeserti sadly it needs more work than an axle, between the mileage, body damage, rust and everything else it's time to put it to pasture.

He's currently looking at C Maxx hybrids and N/A Cruze's.