I just discovered something horrible about Rudolph...

[awesomeaustinv]

Remember the misfit toys from that old Rudolph movie? Remember how one of them was a bird that couldn't fly, but instead swam? Well, apparently the company that made the movie didn't. In the final scene of the movie where the elf is handing the toys umbrellas so they can parachute down to their new homes, the elf looks at this bird, notices his wings, and then TOSSES HIM OUT OF THE SLEIGH WITH NO UMBRELLA PARACHUTE. Yep. The same bird that just told us he can't fly. So yeah, Santa's elf just threw that guy to his death. That poor misfit bird...

[DipodomysDeserti]

@awesomeaustinv He's an alcoholic?

[pos_camaro]

Santa is a real prick in that show so it doesn't surprise me that one of his minions is a sadistic killer.

[trivet]

@awesomeaustinv
Yup, my family and I love watching and ripping on Rudolph each year. It's become somewhat of a tradition.

The best part about this scene is the elf thinks about giving him an umbrella "parachute", but doesn't. Pure evil.

[awesomeaustinv]

@pos_camaro Deviation from the norm will be punished unless it's exploitable!

[trivet]

@awesomeaustinv said in I just discovered something horrible about Rudolph...:

@pos_camaro Deviation from the norm will be punished unless it's exploitable!

That is the moral of the story here.

[awesomeaustinv]

@dipodomysdeserti @trivet

[ttyymmnn]

@awesomeaustinv

[nth256]

@awesomeaustinv I am all three people in this gif.

[Chariotoflove]

@awesomeaustinv
Are we gonna talk about Hermie the sadistic dentist? You know, the one who ripped out all the bumble’s teeth with essentially no anesthesia. And no one in Santa’s crew had a problem with it.

[ttyymmnn]

@chariotoflove said in I just discovered something horrible about Rudolph...:

@awesomeaustinv
Are we gonna talk about Hermie the sadistic dentist? You know, the one who ripped out all the bumble’s teeth with essentially no anesthesia. And no one in Santa’s crew had a problem with it.

That's just how Hermie and Rudolph rolled.

[RamblinRover]

@chariotoflove This is no joke, I had Hermie and the line "Just fixing these dolls' teeth" stuck in my head the other day. Repeating, over and over. I think it was because I was fixing/making something and I was the right kind of tired where sometimes things that aren't even funny are hilarious.

[Chariotoflove]

@ttyymmnn

I know what I’m showing the fam tonight.

[Chariotoflove]

@ramblinrover
IKR

My daughter sung a little jingle at me that I now keep hearing:

Kids who are born feet first,
briefly wear their mothers as a hat.

[TexturedSoyProtein]

Rudolph is bleak.

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2020/12/rankin-bass-rudolph-the-red-nosed-reindeer/616932/

[MisterButtercup]

Rudolph was also an advertisement for a stuffed reindeer with a red nose for sale at... Either Macy's or Bloomingdales. They made the toy and paid someone to write the jingle to sell more. I discovered this when I was a music teacher, and realized in no way should I break this news to elementary school students.

[gmporschenut also a fan of hondas]

@ttyymmnn

Wild turkeys can fly. Not gracefully, but they can

[ttyymmnn]

@misterbuttercup

I don't know, might inspire somebody to go into a career in writing jingles.

What grades did you teach?

[benn454]

@misterbuttercup "Guess what, kids! Everything you've ever known and loved has been a cynical plot to emotionally manipulate your parents into spending money by indoctrinating you into the time-honored tradition of consumerism!"

[MisterButtercup]

@benn454 lol, exactly! I mean, it IS true, but I didn't need a bunch of parents calling me up because I "ruined their kids' Christmas."

[MisterButtercup]

@ttyymmnn yeah, maybe it would've. There was one third. Grader who loved writing his own music, he probably would have loved it...

I taught kindergarten thru 5th grade for two years. The first year was part time, the second was full time. Glad that I have it two years, as the first year I didn't know anything, and the second year gave me a much better idea of what teaching full time would be like. I didn't teach past that, just wasn't for me. I saw the old bitter teaching assistants grumpily hanging around until retirement, and I didn't want to turn out like that, and saw it coming if I stayed.

[ttyymmnn]

@texturedsoyprotein That was a

@texturedsoyprotein said in I just discovered something horrible about Rudolph...:

Rudolph is bleak.

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2020/12/rankin-bass-rudolph-the-red-nosed-reindeer/616932/

That was a great read. Thanks! I was thinking about subjecting my children to this tonight. BTW, I do a spot-on impression of Charlie in the Box from the Island of Misfit Toys.

[ttyymmnn]

@misterbuttercup said in I just discovered something horrible about Rudolph...:

I taught kindergarten thru 5th grade for two years.

My stepmother taught K-5 general music for 25 years. I guess she loved it; she certainly stuck with it. And I think she was really good at it. I have three degrees in performance, so teaching was never on my agenda, but I do with I had gotten an Mus Ed degree for my bachelor's. Not that I wanted to be a band director, but it would have made me a better teacher at the college level. And ultimately, I'm glad I never got into academia. I'm much happier sitting in the back of the orchestra, though it doesn't pay nearly the same.

[facw]

@gmporschenut-also-a-fan-of-hondas Yep, my parents' previous place frequently had turkeys around, and while they'd prefer to run away from threats on the ground, they would loft themselves high in the trees if they thought they were really in trouble.

[awesomeaustinv]

@ttyymmnn OH NO.