MARRIAGE

[Dr. Zoidberg]

Get home after another shit day at my hated job. Phone buzzes. A text appears from that one lady with the poor eyesight.

"I have a surprise for you"

What, did the Corolla catch on fire? Anyway, fifteen minutes later she's home. The surprise?

Oh yesssssss!

[SilentbutnotreallyDeadly]

@dr-zoidberg I'd take that over 5 gallons of unleaded any day...

[pip bip]

@dr-zoidberg time for a career change

[trivet]

@dr-zoidberg
You are a lucky man. Got yourself a keeper.

[Snakesm13]

@dr-zoidberg That’s a good surprise.

How poor of eyesight? Shortly after being married my wife and I went for an eye exam. The Dr. told me after this appointment we should swing by petsmart. Confused I asked why. He said so we can start training her seeing eye dog because his best prescription can only get her sight to as good as mine without correction.

[Shop-Teacher]

@dr-zoidberg Nice!

[A Former User]

@dr-zoidberg
See, you like to keep portraying yourself as boring or a pest or annoying but your not and your good lady wife (SWMBO, she who must be obeyed) clearly doesn't think so too.
I hope you thoroughly enjoyed it and you reciprocated your thanks to your good lady wife.
Have a good evening all, also big scritches to Luna.

[xsnowpig]

@snakesm13 my girlfriend loves to tell this story- we went to Target and I was thinking some reading glasses might be due. As I picked up the 1.25 mag glasses and looked at and could read the label clearly, I yelled "FUCK " in my not indoor voice.

[Italia]

@dr-zoidberg I don't understand how a smelly crab like you landed a lady like that.

[Brickman]

I have poor eyesight too. I thought that was 2 hotdogs rolled in whipped cream topped with chopped walnuts.

[Zaphod's Heart of Gold]

@xsnowpig This hits home....I bought my first pair of reading glasses last week. Under normal circumstances I can see great but fine print has begun to elude me and it causes problems reading old prints at work. Always been far sighted but the near is getting worse. I bought 2 pairs (bogo, no biggie), one 2x and a 3.25x since I'm new to this and the 2x work great for what I need, the 3s make everything look weird and really screw with my perception. Luckily it's a part time thing...for now