Guy Gives a Classic Car to His Parents, Now He's Mad
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Story from Marketwatch
Guy gave his parents a classic car as a gift. Ok so far, that's a nice thing to do (provided your parents are into classic cars), and I know I would like to be in a position to do that.
However, the gift was an unsolicited, unexpected surprise, the parents are on a tight income, and have decided to deduct any repair costs from the inheritance, and now the son is mad.
I dunno, my take is, if you want a car for yourself, buy a damn car for yourself, and if you want to give someone else an extravagant gift that comes with a lot of long term costs, maybe check with them first to see if it's something they really want to deal with?
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@ranwhenparked So many issues with that guy, including the fact that he says the parents don't have much money, and live paycheck-to-paycheck.
WTF? Sounds like he did this for some sort of tax reason. I vote 'douche'.
(I gotta admit, the conversation between the brother and the stepfather sounds like it was probably loaded with scotch and laughter)
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@ranwhenparked reading stories like this further erodes what little faith in humanity I have left. That dude needs to pull his head out of his arse, what 'n doos.
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@thomas-donohue Add in the fact that he didn't see any issue at all with this being aired publicly
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Parents live paycheck to paycheck, son expects and inheritance.
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@ranwhenparked they live paycheck to paycheck but had money for an engine rebuild and a respray? Pretty sure this whole story is bullshit.
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@italia Credit cards, home equity loan, borrowed against retirement account? I don't know, there's ways to pay for expensive stuff you can't afford
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@zaphod-s-heart-of-gold well, they could own their house free and clear, so that might be a chunk of money. Also, the guy doesn't sound too bright
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@italia Maybe they live paycheque to paycheque because they do stupid things like buy high end paint jobs and engine rebuilds that they can't afford.
Either way, a gift is a gift, and an inheritance is an inheritance. You choose who you give gifts to, and you choose who you give your stuff to when you die. You don't get a say in what other people do. To quote the childrens book: "you get what you get and you don't throw a fit"
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@ranwhenparked dude seems like an idiot tbh...
if they are living paycheck to paycheck exactly what inheritance is he mad about losing out on?
also....if hes doing well enough to buy them costly gifts....maybe he should be helping them with that whole living paycheck to paycheck thing...instead?
tho...i do get the grand gesture thing.... its fun to do -
@ranwhenparked Sounds like a WEIRD family. Wonder what kind of car.
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@ranwhenparked
I will never understand some people's definition of "fair". I spent part of the last two weeks helping my dad solidify his will and property trust according to his wishes, not mine. I'll be blunt here and tell you that some of his decisions will result in less money coming to my inheritance, and I honestly do not give a shit. Because why should I? It's his money to do with as he likes. I'm responsible for making my own money, just like he did. If he never left me a single penny, I wouldn't love him any less or lose a minute of sleep over it, much less write into a columnist to complain about it.As an aside, if you give a gift to someone, then it's a gift. What they do with it after is up to them. If it's something they can't afford to maintain, they can sell it.
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@ranwhenparked Don't give high-maintenance gifts to people unless you are sure they want them and can afford them.
Though taking it out of his inheritance is also tacky. Tell him "thanks for the car, but we can't really afford to keep it maintained. Do you want it? Otherwise I think we'll need to sell it."
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@chariotoflove said in Guy Gives a Classic Car to His Parents, Now He's Mad:
@ranwhenparked
I will never understand some people's definition of "fair". I spent part of the last two weeks helping my dad solidify his will and property trust according to his wishes, not mine. I'll be blunt here and tell you that some of his decisions will result in less money coming to my inheritance, and I honestly do not give a shit. Because why should I? It's his money to do with as he likes. I'm responsible for making my own money, just like he did. If he never left me a single penny, I wouldn't love him any less or lose a minute of sleep over it, much less write into a columnist to complain about it.As an aside, if you give a gift to someone, then it's a gift. What they do with it after is up to them. If it's something they can't afford to maintain, they can sell it.
Exactly. It's a gift. It was a nice gesture and now it's theirs. If you think they owe you something in return you probably should stop 'gifting' people.
I do admit that I told my Dad I want his Miata when he dies though. I'm not going to whine if he sells it for some reason before he dies.
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@chariotoflove I've got a brother with special needs, and another one who doesn't, but has been through some shit in his life that means he's had a rougher time of it. I've been blunt with them that they can feel free to give the two of them the lion's share, of even cut me out entirely, since I'm perfectly capable of supporting myself. They probably won't do that, but I'd actually be more comfortable if they did.
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@ranwhenparked Slightly relevant story: My Mustang is at my parent's farm right now, mostly because I don't have enough parking spots for it here, but also to let them enjoy a convertible that they'd never have bought for themselves. They chipped in to help pay for insurance on it, but otherwise I'm the owner and responsible for all the paperwork and costs.
They're loving it. My dad has always wanted a Harley, but they're too expensive and he's happy to avoid the danger of a motorcycle now. He considers the Convertible Mustang as the next best thing, and they've driven more miles in my mustang than they have in their '67 Fairlane.
I've considered either selling it to them for a low price (they declined), or just signing the title over to let them have full ownership for a while, but I don't want to saddle them with another expense that they'd feel guilty for selling. I'm also pretty sure that if it was "theirs" they'd treat it very carefully and possibly never drive it except to car shows. They're strangely protective of their property, to the point of making it less enjoyable if it makes it last longer.
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@facw It's funny how many of these "Asking for advice" stories could be solved by reasonable people sitting down and talking to each other.
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@chariotoflove The guy sounds like an in-law of mine. She's laser focused on money in family situations, obsessed with getting what she considers her "fair share" and constantly forgets about the times she did get something from an inheritance or other windfall because it interferes with her self image of being a shortchanged martyr. When she gives anything or does anything for anyone you can be damn sure she expects you to pay for it somehow at 100% interest minimum - and you're going to be dealing with passive aggressive demands for it and trash talking behind your back about how ungrateful you are even if you return it five-fold. It's really sad in her case as she does have some truly great aspects to her character but is constantly making enemies out of friends due to this personality trait.
When my dad died I couldn't have cared less about what I might or might not inherit - I just wanted my dad back. F*** cancer.
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@ranwhenparked said in Guy Gives a Classic Car to His Parents, Now He's Mad:
@chariotoflove I've got a brother with special needs, and another one who doesn't, but has been through some shit in his life that means he's had a rougher time of it. I've been blunt with them that they can feel free to give the two of them the lion's share, of even cut me out entirely, since I'm perfectly capable of supporting myself. They probably won't do that, but I'd actually be more comfortable if they did.
Im with you on that. I'm the most financially well set up of my sibs for various reasons. Could I use an infusion of money? Sure, who can't? Do I care? Nope. The important thing to me is that everyone has a place to live and all the grandkids (my nephews) get set up for their educations. I'm actually uncomfortable thinking about inheriting money and what I'd do with it. It feels a little ghoulish. I'd prefer if Dad would live longer (guess that's selfish of me in another way).
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You left out the best part... where he 'gave' it to them on the condition they would will it back to him when they pass.
This guy is definitely a douche.
I have no sympathy for him.
He should have instead not gotten them the car (which apparently needed an engine rebuild) and instead, taken them out to a nice dinner or treated them to a vacation or a spa day or something.
Something without strings attached.
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@nowhere said in Guy Gives a Classic Car to His Parents, Now He's Mad:
When my dad died I couldn't have cared less about what I might or might not inherit - I just wanted my dad back. F*** cancer.
Same here when Mom went two years ago. I got left money for my kid's tuition. But fuck that. I'd rather have had my mommy back without cancer.
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@chariotoflove said in Guy Gives a Classic Car to His Parents, Now He's Mad:
I'd prefer if Dad would live longer (guess that's selfish of me in another way).
Yeah, that's the main thing. I'd rather not have to deal with an inheritance at all, given what has to happen for that to occur
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@ranwhenparked said in Guy Gives a Classic Car to His Parents, Now He's Mad:
Story from Marketwatch
Guy gave his parents a classic car as a gift. Ok so far, that's a nice thing to do (provided your parents are into classic cars), and I know I would like to be in a position to do that.
However, the gift was an unsolicited, unexpected surprise, the parents are on a tight income, and have decided to deduct any repair costs from the inheritance, and now the son is mad.
I dunno, my take is, if you want a car for yourself, buy a damn car for yourself, and if you want to give someone else an extravagant gift that comes with a lot of long term costs, maybe check with them first to see if it's something they really want to deal with?
I think that you missed a critical part of the story:
‘I did make it a conditional gift, in the sense I requested it be willed to me upon their passing’So, buy car: give it to parents. Parents spend lots of money on the car, which child receives back as part of inheritance.
Moral of the story: never give a car to family members. It's fraught with problems.
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@farscythe said in Guy Gives a Classic Car to His Parents, Now He's Mad:
@ranwhenparked dude seems like an idiot tbh...
if they are living paycheck to paycheck exactly what inheritance is he mad about losing out on?Being asset rich and cash poor is a thing.
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@ranwhenparked Sounds like one miserable group of people.